Consistency Isn’t About Discipline—It’s About Energy
You’re Not the Only One Struggling with Consistency
Let’s get one thing out in the open: SO MANY people struggle with consistency. And yet, when we’re in the thick of our own procrastination, overwhelm, or inability to follow through, we often feel like the only one. Like there must be something inherently wrong with us.
We wonder:
“Why can’t I just do the thing?”
“What’s wrong with me that I can’t stay motivated?”
“Why do I keep starting and stopping everything?”
If that’s you, we want you to hear this—you are not broken. You are likely dysregulated. And there's a big difference.
Where the Struggle with Consistency Really Comes From
Most conversations around consistency start with time management, discipline, or habits. But as holistic therapists, we’ve learned that humans are complex and therefore we must go deeper—into the body, the nervous system, and our lived cultural realities.
We as humans are individual systems and we live within the system of our external circumstances and culture. Things like time management, discipline and habits aren’t bad things to pay attention to, but they are surface-level, so let’s go a little deeper and get curious about what supports, or allows for practices like time management, discipline and habits to happen.
1. The Nervous System
Inside all humans exists a central nervous system which is divided into two key branches: the peripheral and the autonomic. While the peripheral nervous system helps us consciously interact with the world around us, the autonomic nervous system operates largely beneath our awareness, managing vital functions like breathing, heart rate, digestion, and temperature regulation.
But beyond these physical processes, the autonomic system is also deeply involved in our emotional life and energy levels—it plays a major role in how safe, calm, or overwhelmed we feel. When this system becomes dysregulated, often due to chronic stress or unresolved wounding, pain and trauma, we may find ourselves struggling with low energy, emotional volatility, or a persistent inability to follow through on our goals.
So if you’re someone who has difficulty being consistent—not because you don’t care or lack willpower—it may be that your autonomic nervous system is in a survival mode that prevents access to sustained focus and motivation. When your body perceives stress—whether from trauma, emotional wounds, or ongoing pressure—it moves into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn states. This dysregulation makes it nearly impossible to stay focused, energized, or committed to routines. Learning how to understand and regulate your autonomic responses through practices like somatic therapy, breathwork, and grounding, can be a powerful step toward restoring balance and creating true, sustainable consistency in your life.
2. Unresolved Emotional Wounding and Trauma
Our past experiences shape our present patterns because those were the experiences we were having when our brains and neural networks were forming and developing. Those were the neural networks we needed at the time to survive the environment and circumstances that we were in. For example, some of us learned in childhood that taking action led to punishment, criticism, and rejection, so, present-day we might find that our subconscious often tries to “protect” us by sabotaging follow-through as a way to avoid the painfulness of those past experiences (punishment, criticism and rejection). This is just one example of how unresolved past wounding and pain drives present day behaviors.
Procrastination, avoidance, and lack of consistency are not conscious choices — they’re forms of subconscious coping. It’s helpful to connect this struggle with consistency back to what we discussed earlier: the nervous system. Dysregulated energy in the nervous system stems from these subconscious coping mechanisms, which are essentially stress responses. The shifts in our energy levels occur because the nervous system continues to rely on old protective patterns — neural pathways that once helped us survive. In response to perceived threats, our nervous system may quickly ramp up or shut down energy (hyperarousal or hypoarousal) to support these stress responses. Until the underlying pain, trauma, or emotional wounding is fully felt, processed and resolved, the nervous system will keep activating these ingrained patterns to shield us from discomfort and pain. This results in nervous system dysregulation, which disrupts our energy supply — and the energy instability is what makes it difficult to build and maintain consistency.
3. The Hustle Culture of the U.S.
We’re living in a society that glorifies productivity and burnout. We’re constantly expected to be “on”, responsive, achieving, and producing. This hustle mode depletes the body, short-circuits the nervous system, and leads to things like:
Adrenal fatigue
Anxiety and depression
Autoimmune conditions
Chronic exhaustion
Disconnection from purpose and pleasure
Disembodiment
When your energy is burned out or fragmented, how can you expect to show up consistently for anything, let alone your deeper goals?
4. Misalignment
Another important — and often overlooked — root of inconsistency is misalignment. From a holistic perspective, it’s incredibly difficult to remain consistent with things that are out of sync with your core values — the things that truly matter to you on a deeper level. When our actions, commitments, or goals don’t reflect what we genuinely care about, the nervous system often responds with resistance. This isn't laziness or self-sabotage; it’s a form of inner wisdom alerting us that something doesn’t feel right.
Take work, for example. If you're spending hours each day in a job that doesn’t resonate with your values, it’s natural to feel disengaged, uninspired, or even emotionally exhausted. Your body and mind may struggle to summon the energy or motivation to stay consistent, because that work isn’t nourishing you in a meaningful way. Over time, this misalignment can erode your sense of purpose and make consistency feel like an uphill battle.
As holistic therapists, we often invite people to explore whether what they’re trying to be consistent with is actually aligned with their deeper truth.
Are you working toward something that feels life-giving and purposeful? Or are you chasing something you think you should do — out of obligation, fear, or external pressure?
When we begin to realign with our values and make space for what truly matters, consistency often begins to feel less like a struggle and more like a natural expression of inner coherence.
5. Emotional Avoidance
Another layer that can contribute to inconsistency — and one that often operates beneath our conscious awareness — is emotional avoidance. From a holistic perspective, we don’t just avoid tasks because they’re boring or time-consuming. Often, we’re avoiding the emotions that get stirred up when we engage with those tasks.
For example, let’s take something as seemingly simple as cleaning. On the surface, it might look like procrastination or disinterest. But when we look deeper, we might notice that the act of cleaning brings up a sense of futility — the realization that no matter how thoroughly we clean, the mess will always return. For some, this can evoke feelings of defeat, powerlessness, or even resentment. These are difficult emotions to sit with, especially if we’ve had past experiences where those feelings were overwhelming or invalidated. So, instead of facing them again, our nervous system kicks into protective mode — we distract ourselves, we delay, or we disengage entirely.
In this light, inconsistency becomes less about motivation and more about emotional safety. It’s not that you’re incapable of doing the task — it’s that doing the task touches something tender inside you. As holistic therapists, we often work with people to gently explore what emotions are being activated by the things they avoid. When we can name those feelings and begin to hold space for them, even in small ways, we often find that the task itself becomes more approachable. We’re no longer using our energy to protect ourselves from discomfort — and that opens the door for more grounded, sustainable consistency.
The Truth: Consistency Comes from Steady Energy
Now that we’ve taken a look at some of the common roots of inconsistency, here’s what we’ve seen time and time again:
Consistency doesn’t come from willpower. It comes from a steady flow of energy.
And that steady energy flow comes from a regulated nervous system, emotional safety, and alignment with your truth—not forcing yourself into a schedule or life that was never meant for you.
When you begin to slow down, listen to your body, and heal at the roots, you start to feel a natural pull toward showing up—because it no longer feels like pressure. It feels like flow.
Myths About Consistency That Need to Be Burned to the Ground
Let’s debunk a few harmful myths that surround the topic of consistency:
MYTH: “You’re lazy if you’re inconsistent.”
TRUTH: Inconsistency is usually a sign of burnout, trauma, or dysregulation—not laziness.
MYTH: “You just need more discipline.”
TRUTH: Most people need more rest, safety, connection, and nervous system healing—not more discipline.
MYTH: “If you really cared, you’d do it.”
TRUTH: Many of us deeply care—and still can’t follow through when our energy is scattered or depleted.
Remember, energy flows where your attention goes. If your attention continues to focus on coping and “just getting through”, then your energy is being used up just trying to survive emotionally or physically and there’s not much left for long-term goals or daily habits.
How to Begin Steadying Your Energy (So Consistency Can Emerge Naturally)
If you’ve been struggling with consistency, here’s where we’d recommend you begin:
1. Regulate Your Nervous System
Start by helping your body feel safe.
Take some time to track your nervous system so you can learn its “go-to” stress responses. Then, do your best to get in the practice of coming alongside your nervous system with support. And remember, our nervous system doesn’t understand words it understands somatics i.e. body-based, physical, felt sensations.
Try: daily grounding practices (walking barefoot on the earth, placing your hands over your heart and belly while breathing deeply, etc.), vagal nerve stimulation (humming, cold water splashes, breathwork, etc.), movement to release energy in a hyperaroused nervous system (jumping up and down, pushing into the wall, dancing, etc.), movement to increase energy in a hyperaroused nervous system (lengthening your spine, planting your feet firmly on the floor, quickly rubbing your hands together, etc,), incorporating a daily embodiment practice (yoga, dancing, stretching, tia chi, etc.)
The purpose of these somatic tools is to gently guide your nervous system out of conditioned stress responses, allowing new neural pathways to form and teaching your inner system that it’s safe to face tasks and stressors from a place of presence and steadiness – therefore stabilizing your energy flow and increasing your ability to be consistent.
2. Meet Your Inner Experience with Compassion
When you procrastinate or shut down, do your best to get in the practice of pausing and asking:
“What part of me is afraid right now?”
Then, respond to that part of you with kindness, not judgment. Healing emotional wounds that are being held internally makes room for sustainable action.
3. Create Spaciousness, Not Schedules
Instead of rigid routines, experiment with rhythm. What’s your body’s natural flow? Work with that, not against it.
4. Mini Practice: Steady Your Energy in 3 Minutes
Sit or lie down comfortably. Close your eyes.
Place one hand on your chest, one on your belly. Inhale deeply through the nose, exhale slowly through the mouth.
Repeat this phrase silently:
“I am safe to move slowly. I am allowed to rest. My energy is returning to me.”
Visualize a soft golden light pooling in your belly. With each breath, let it grow steadier.
Stay here for 3 minutes. Notice how your energy begins to settle.
Final Words: This Is About Healing, Not Hustling
You don’t need to force yourself to be consistent, in fact forcing yourself to be consistent will likely only lead to less consistency. Instead, you need to nurture the conditions that allow consistency to emerge.
When your inner wounds are tended to with presence and love, your body will feel safer, and when your body feels safer your energy will stabilize —and consistency becomes a natural byproduct.
So no, you’re not lazy. You’re healing. And healing is one of the best things you can commit to in order to not only improve your consistency, but your overall well-being.
If our approach to improving consistency speaks to you, reach out to us! We’d love to give you even more information and holistic, somatic tools to support you on your journey to consistency and wellness. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper righthand corner of our website, submit a contact form, and we will be in touch with you ASAP!
♡ The Brave Embodiment Counseling Team
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