Welcoming Summer – A Season of Light and Expansion

Hello Brave Ones! 

Happy pride month and welcome summer! As we step into June, the arrival of summer brings with it a powerful energetic shift. The days grow longer, the sun brighter, and life often seems to move faster. The summer solstice will occur on Saturday June 21st marking the longest day of the year–when the sun reaches its highest point in the sky at noon–and “the official start of summer” in the Northern Hemisphere takes place. 

Summer is ruled by the fire element in many healing traditions—symbolizing growth, joy, vitality, and outward movement. Spiritually and emotionally, this season invites us to expand, play, and connect, but that expansion can also bring up challenges.

Many people find that as their outer world becomes busier—with vacations, social events, and changing routines—their inner world may begin to feel overstimulated, scattered, or neglected. Because of this, emotions can rise to the surface more quickly and you may also experience bursts of inspiration and motivation, followed by feelings of burnout or disconnection.

This season asks us to balance our desire for movement and connection with the need for grounding, intention, and rest. Therapy can offer a supportive space to navigate that balance—but summer’s spontaneity can make it challenging to stay consistent which brings us to one of this month’s featured guides (10 Tips for Staying Consistent with Therapy this Summer) located in section 3. 

But first, section 2 where we honor Pride Month – acknowledging and celebrating the pain, the beauty, the resilience and the diversity of the 2SLGBTQQIPAA community. You’ll find simple, meaningful ways to celebrate, show support, and stand in solidarity, whether you’re part of the community or an ally.

Section 2: June is Pride Month

June is Pride Month – a time to honor the 2SLGBTQQIPAA community not only through celebration, but through deepening visibility, connection, and solidarity. Pride reminds us that even if we don’t personally identify, we all have a role in standing up for each other’s humanity, because no one is free until everyone is.

Since we are based in Denver we are sharing some details for the Denver Pride Celebration, however most cities and towns host their own Pride Celebrations so be sure to research details on your local celebrations as well!  

Denver Pride Celebration 

• Dates & Times: Saturday 6/28 11:00am - 7:00pm and Sunday 6/29 10:00am-6:00pm

• Info: Beginning in 1974, Denver Pride is an event produced by The Center on Colfax—a 501(c)(3) nonprofit serving the LGBTQ+ community year-round. Now the largest Pride celebration in the Rocky Mountain region, the event draws over 500,000 visitors and includes a parade, 5K, a gayborhood market, performances, DJ’s, a Latin stage, a family area – a really amazing festival! Proceeds from the weekend directly support vital 2SLGBTQQIPAA+ services like mental health care, youth and senior programming, and support for transgender and gender-diverse individuals.

• Click here for more info on Denver Pride 

Not in town on the 28th and 29th? No problem! There are events happening all throughout the month of June, some of which you can find here . And, if events aren’t your thing, here are some other ways to support the 2SLGBTQQIPAA community:

• Read a book: 

• “Gender Trauma” by: Alex Iantaffi

• “Beyond the Gender Binary” by: Alok Vaid-Menon

• “Gender Queer” by: Maia Kobabe

• “All Boys Aren’t Blue” by: George M. Johnson

• “Stone Butch Blues” by: Leslie Feinberg

• Volunteer:

• The Center on Colfax

• One Colorado

• Gay for Good Denver

• The Trans Continental Pipeline

• Support 2SLGBTQQIPAA Makers & Businesses:

• Courageous Space (Yoga Studio)

• Quince Coffee House

• Vibe Gym & Wellness

• Hamburger Mary’s

• Lady Justice Brewing

*This is not an exhaustive list, just a few ideas to get you started! We encourage you to do your own research and see how you’d like to contribute.*

Section 3: 10 Tips for Staying Consistent with Therapy this Summer

Summer’s spontaneous energy can easily lead to skipping self-care routines, including therapy. However, staying consistent through seasonal shifts can actually deepen your progress and help you integrate new awareness into daily life. Here are ten tips for maintaining your momentum:

1. Schedule Ahead: Book your summer sessions in advance to hold space for yourself before your calendar fills up.

2. Set a Summer Therapy Intention: Get clear on what you want to focus on during this season—it helps maintain purpose.

3. Consider Virtual Sessions: If you’re traveling or your schedule is packed, teletherapy can be a powerful alternative.

4. Make It Part of Your Summer Routine: Attach therapy to another summer ritual (like morning walks or post-hike journaling).

5. Communicate with Your Therapist: If your availability changes, work together to find new rhythms or creative solutions.

6. Use Your Therapy Time to Process Summer Themes: Socializing and social anxiety, relationship shifts, body image, family dynamics, or spiritual exploration—let it all in.

7. Practice Micro-Check-Ins: Between sessions, take 2–5 minutes to reflect on how you’re feeling emotionally/spiritually.

8. Track Your Emotional Weather: Keep a summer feelings journal to notice patterns or emotional highs/lows.

9. Create a Summer Self-Care List: What grounds and restores you? Keep a list handy when things get busy or chaotic.

10. Remember Why You Started: Revisit your original reasons for starting therapy—it often reminds us that these deeper patterns we are wanting to work on don’t just disappear because it’s sunny out – revisiting your motivations and goals will help renew your commitment to your inner work and therapy.

Even in the most expansive and active seasons, healing and growth thrives on consistency. Showing up for yourself—especially when it's inconvenient—is a powerful act of self-love which can create healing and growth in itself.

♡ The Brave Embodiment Counseling Team

Click here to get in touch!

Beyond “Mental Health”: Tending to Your Inner Garden This May

As holistic therapists, we tend to approach the month of May—Mental Health Awareness Month—with mixed feelings.

Yes, we’re grateful that we have a month dedicated to destigmatizing emotional and psychological challenges. But, we also feel called to speak honestly: the term “mental health” itself is outdated. In fact, it can be misleading.

When we say “mental” health, we unintentionally reinforce the idea that emotional and psychological well-being is just in our heads—a purely cognitive, mental, or brain-based issue. This disconnects us from the deeper truth: our emotions, our trauma, our healing—they don’t live only in the mind. They live in our bodies, our breath, our relationships, our energy, and in the pace and rhythm of our lives.

True healing doesn’t happen in the mind alone. It happens when we return to wholeness and tend to ourselves and each other holistically.

We Are Not Just Minds With Bodies—We Are Embodied Minds

Modern neuroscience, trauma research, and ancient healing traditions all point to the same reality: the human experience is an embodied one. What we often call “mental health” is actually a whole-body process. We can’t simply think our way into healing (if we could, many of us would’ve done this already). Instead, we must feel, move, rest, connect, cry, and breathe our way into healing. 

If you’ve ever experienced anxiety and noticed your heart race or your gut twist into knots, you know this. Emotions show up in the body. Therefore, healing must also take place in the body, not just at the mental level. 

That’s why, in holistic therapy,, we don’t separate the mind from the body, or the individual from their environment. We understand that you yourself are a system and you exist within a system—that emotional wellness is woven into how you sleep, how you eat, how you relate to others, how you relate to yourself, how you breathe, how much sunlight you get, what kind of work you do, and how safe you feel in your nervous system.

Tending to Your Inner Garden

The month of May is a time when the earth bursts into bloom, reminding us of the rhythms of nature that we too are meant to live by.

In this spirit, as therapists we often use the analogy of tending to an inner garden. Imagine your emotional life as a garden inside of you. What kind of soil are your thoughts and feelings rooted in? Soil is the foundation for growth, so perhaps thinking about your own foundation…your childhood. Was the soil of your childhood nutrient rich and fertile? Or perhaps there were factors that got  in the way of your developmental years being nourishing. And now, present day - are you receiving enough sunlight—joy, rest, creativity? Are your roots nourished with connection, nutrition, movement, stillness?

There’s a beautiful quote by Alexander Den Heijer that says:

“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.”

Too often in mainstream approaches to “mental health” focus on fixing the flower. Mainstream mental health pathologizes a person’s symptoms and rushes to suppress them. But rarely do mainstream mental health approaches ask: “What kind of soil is this person growing in? What’s happening in their environment, relationships, and daily rhythms that might be hindering their natural capacity to thrive?”

Holistic healing is about tending the soil, not forcing the bloom.

Tending to Each Other: Why We Need Each Other to Be Well

As holistic therapists, we have seen time and again that healing doesn’t happen in isolation. While the dominant mental health narrative in American culture often frames healing as an individual pursuit—“Go to therapy and figure yourself out”—this lens is only part of the story. Yes, individual therapy is incredibly valuable (we’re big fans of it!), but it is not the whole story. Humans are wired for connection, and it is within the context of relationships, community, and co-regulation that deep healing and transformation can truly take root.

Too often, "mental health" is treated like a solo project, as though the path to wellness lies entirely within individual self-awareness and boundary-setting. And while insight and healthy boundaries are crucial tools, they are not the only ones we need. What often gets lost in Westernized models of care is the understanding that we heal in relationship—in spaces where we are seen, heard, supported, and held with care.

Relational care isn't just an idealistic notion, it’s a biological necessity. Our nervous systems are wired for connection. From birth, we rely on caregivers to help regulate our emotional states because we are born with all the emotions but none the circuitry or skills to regulate those emotions. That need for co-regulation doesn’t disappear in adulthood—it just becomes less visible in a culture that values self-sufficiency and hyperindependence over interdependence. True nervous system healing requires spaces where we can feel safe with others, not just within ourselves.

Community and connection also help break cycles of silence—those invisible legacies we carry around trauma, shame, and disconnection. When we share our truths in safe, affirming spaces, we interrupt those patterns. We remember that we are not alone. And in being witnessed, we allow the exiled parts of ourselves to join, to be part of it, to feel connected which has a significant impact on well-being. 

A major challenge to truly engaging with the connection, relational and community aspect of healing and growth is an overemphasis on boundaries and an underemphasis on repair being taught in Westernized therapy. Boundaries are absolutely essential—especially with people who have caused harm or who are unsafe—but when we’re taught to cut people off at the first sign of discomfort or conflict, we risk reinforcing disconnection rather than healing it. There’s a difference between protecting yourself and abandoning the possibility of deeper, more meaningful connection.

Relational repair—learning to work through conflict, rather than around it—is one of the most transformative practices we can engage in. It asks us to stay present, to lean into discomfort with care, and to recognize that closeness often comes after rupture and repair, not before. Learning how to navigate relational repair can be uncomfortable, but it is also deeply liberating and humanizing. We were never meant to do this work or life alone.

Individual therapy can absolutely be the doorway to healing. It can be the first time someone feels safe enough to explore their inner world. But we cannot build a whole life of connection with just one safe relationship. Healing requires more than one safe person. It requires community, chosen family, soul friendships, and people we can be real with—especially when things get messy. 

In a culture that often individualizes pain and commodifies healing, we must return to what’s always been true: we need each other. Not in a co-dependent way, but in a deeply human way. Healing happens when we are held in community, when we experience safe connection, and when we learn—together—how to return to each other with more presence, compassion, and care.

What True “Mental Health” Support Looks Like

True support for emotional well-being honors the whole person. In our work as a holistic therapists, this includes:

• Offering a person information (psychoeducation) on what is happening in their brains and bodies when they are feeling a certain way and how past relational experiences and traumas can create unfinished stress responses that are being held within the body.

• Speaking the language of the body by supporting nervous system regulation through breathwork, movement, somatic awareness and somatic exercises.

• Exploring ancestral patterns or unprocessed trauma stored in the brain and body.

• Working with the rhythms of nature—resting more in winter, expanding in summer. Supporting folks to  learn and identify their own inner rhythms related to hormonal fluctuations and their own personal seasons of healing, growth and harvest.

• Integrating nutrition, sleep, and lifestyle into the therapeutic process.

• Encouraging embodied presence (the felt sense), rather than intellectual analysis alone

• Guiding people to experience or feel their own energy, the fluctuations of that energy and sensing the energy of other nervous systems and the culture around them.

• Cultivating self-compassion and slowing down enough to feel what you feel, helping your body learn to metabolize and digest the sometimes intense emotional energy that comes with various life experiences.

• Experiential practice of expressing needs, hurts, boundaries, and preferences and coaching and skill building on how to work through conflict not only within one’s self but with others as well. 

• Encouragement for you to participate in group processes and/or find a community you feel connected to and safe in.
  

This isn’t about chasing happiness or symptom relief. It’s about becoming more fully yourself and in doing so symptoms reduce and a sense of well-being, contentness and peace arrive. It’s about inhabiting your body, trusting your rhythms, and allowing space for all of you—grief, joy, fear, creativity, longing—to exist and be held with care and compassion. 

Mental Health as Wholeness

So this May, instead of asking “How’s your mental health?”, try asking:

• How’s the soil you’re growing in?

• Are you getting the light, nourishment, rest, and connection you need?

• What would it mean to truly honor your wholeness—not just your mind, but your body, spirit, and heart?
  

Healing isn’t linear. It’s seasonal. It moves like a garden—sometimes blooming, sometimes resting, sometimes shedding what no longer serves. When we honor this, we shift from treating symptoms to cultivating well-being.

Let’s reclaim “mental health” as embodied wellness—a return to our natural state of balance, aliveness, and connection.

Let May be your invitation to tend your inner garden.

Gently. Patiently. Holistically.

If our approach to “mental health” speaks to you, reach out to us! We seriously cannot wait to connect with you and walk alongside you on your journey to wellness. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper righthand corner of our website, submit a contact form, and we will be in touch with you ASAP!

♡ The Brave Embodiment Counseling Team

Click here to get in touch!

Embodying Possibility & Self-Worth - A Free Meditation

Hello Brave Community!

Tax season has a way of pulling us into a swirl of numbers, deadlines, and pressure-- whether you're self-employed, sorting through receipts, or just feeling the collective intensity of this time of year. Even when it's over, the residue of stress often lingers in the body and mind, quietly tightening our thinking and dulling our sense of self-worth.

As holistic therapists, we've witnessed how this subtle tension can shape how we see ourselves and what we believe is possible. That's why this month's FREE guided meditation is devoted to you -- to giving your system a much-needed settling. 

Click here to access our post tax season Release Stress And Open To Self Love And Possibility meditation by Brave Embodiment Counseling's own, Kim Massale. 

This brief, soothing meditation begins by exploring how stress impacts the nervous system and blocks expansive thinking and self-love. From there, you'll be gently guided to release the stress your body is holding and reconnect with your worth and the energy of possibility. 

If you found this meditation useful, be sure to follow us on Insight Timer by clicking "follow" on our teacher profile!

Click here to get in touch!

Intro to May

Hello Brave Community!

May invites a sense of renewal -- longer days, blossoming flowers, and the rhythm of growth humming all around us. May lives at the crossroads of spring and summer in the Northern Hemisphere, a time of ripening.

Spiritually, this time of year often symbolizes fertility, nurturing, creative life force energy, and new beginnings. And yet, like most seasons of growth, this one brings complexity.

Mother's Day can stir a wide range of emotions -- grief, longing, joy, guilt, or even numbness. Graduation season, too, can evoke both pride and uncertainty, excitement and overwhelm. 

So how do we stay present when this month asks so much of our hearts?

We return to wholeness. 

May is also "Mental Health Awareness Month", though we prefer to reframe that: because the term "mental health" is actually outdated. It suggests that our emotional wellness is something that lives only in the mind -- when in truth, we are body-minds, as Dan Siegel beautifully names. Our emotions, thoughts, and experiences live in the tissues, the breath, the posture.

That's what holistic therapy is about: tending to the full human experience -- not just talking about it, but feeling and moving through it. And that matters now more than ever. 

If you've been struggling, or feeling ready to bloom, we want you to know that you're not alone and we are here for you as you navigate all that comes with the month of May ♡

Mini Body-Mind Reset

Here's a short but powerful practice to meet this month's energy with compassion and curiosity.

May Integration Practice: A Somatic + Journaling Moment

1. Ground (2 min)

• Place both feet on the floor. Gently press them down and notice the floor pressing back. Take three slow breaths, letting your exhale be just a little longer than your inhale. Allow your shoulders to drop. Let your belly soften. 

2. Listen (2 min)

• If it feels okay, place one hand over your heart and one on your lower belly (or anywhere else on your body that feels okay).

• Ask yourself:
  What does this season bring up for me? Where am I growing? Where am I tender?

• Then, just listen and receive, with openness and compassion, whatever comes.

3. Journal (5-10 min)

Choose one of these prompts:

• "Right now my heart feels..."

• "If I could name what this season is teaching me, it would be..."

• "I am letting go of _______________. I am opening to _________________."

This simple practice invites your whole system -- mind, body, and soul -- to be part of your healing journey. 

And, as always, we are here to support your process ♡ Whether you’re navigating complex mother's day emotions, struggling to stay present, or just wanting to feel more grounded this season – you are not alone and we got you!

Email us at info@bravecounseling.com to schedule a FREE consultation with one of our highly-skilled, compassionate therapists today!

Therapist Highlight

Meet the good-humored and curious Elisa Clark!

Elisa (she/her) is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Colorado, currently providing virtual services from the east coast.

Elisa has navigated a variety of jobs in administration, retail, childcare, jewelry design, and management while learning how she wanted to be of service in the world. This self-exploration ultimately led her to a Masters degree from Naropa University in Mindfulness-Based Transpersonal Counseling.

After receiving her degree, Elisa worked in college and high school settings, community-based case management, and specialized treatment for first-episode psychosis in teens and young adults.

Elisa is passionate about collaborating with her clients in creating new narratives for themselves featuring empowered choices, nonjudgmental attitudes, and self-acceptance. She supports the people she works with in growing beyond their trauma with and increasing their freedom in day-to-day life. Elisa is unafraid to explore the unknown and is skilled at utilizing humor to reveal truths, test new perspectives, and connect with the present moment.

Elisa uses and integrates a variety of therapy modalities including...

• Transpersonal personal counseling

• Mindfulness training

• Narrative therapy

• mCBT

• Gestalt therapy

• Solution-focused interventions

• Enneagram

• Expressive arts

Elisa specializes in helping people...

• During times of transition and life pivots of all kinds (including career, identity, grief & loss, etc.)

• Cultivate a meaning-based, purpose-aligned life 

• Make space for present-focused awareness

• Develop their spirituality (if that's of interest)

• Utilize radical acceptance as a tool for change

• Challenge self-limiting beliefs and patterns

• Find the pause, to facilitate mindful responses to stressors

Elisa as a person↓

► Personality: Creative, Warm, and Curious

►  Activities: Mixing art with adventure, tending plants, and finding humor in daily life

► Favorite Quote: “We are here to awaken from our illusion of separateness.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh

We offer FREE 30-45 minute consultations. If Elisa, or any of our other amazing therapists catch your eye, let us know -- we will get you connected ASAP! 

♡ The Brave Embodiment Counseling Team

Click here to get in touch!

Unpacking Money Stress: A Holistic Approach to Tax Season & Your Relationship with Money

For many of us, tax season brings a familiar pit-in-the-stomach feeling: tension, overwhelm, maybe even dread. Whether it’s anxiety about what we owe, shame about how we’ve spent, or confusion about where our money actually goes, financial stress can feel like a storm cloud that follows us into every corner of life. 

As holistic therapists, we’ve noticed how deeply money stress touches the nervous system. It can feel like chronic low-grade fear, like grief, or even like numbness. It’s not just about numbers – it’s about beliefs, nervous system wiring, and the survival response we learned growing up. 

So, in this blog, we aim to slow it all down and take a compassionate look at where money stress comes from and how we can begin to heal it. 

Where Money Stress Comes From

Money stress isn’t just about how much you make or how well you budget. It’s often rooted in deeper beliefs and nervous system responses shaped by your upbringing, cultural messaging, and life experiences. 

Money Beliefs Start Early

Maybe you grew up hearing things like:

• “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

• “We can’t afford that.”

• “Rich people are greedy.”

• “If you were better with money, you wouldn’t be in this situation.”

• “Money solves problems.”

• “We don’t talk about money.”

• “Don’t flaunt it.”

• “You’ll inherit this one day, so be careful.”

• “Protect the family legacy.” 

These messages often live under the surface and silently shape how we interact with money present day. And, keep in mind, not all messages that our minds and bodies absorb about money are explicit. Some are implicit like… 

• Feeling the tension between your parents as they argued over money

• Sensing the energy shift when you asked for lunch money to go out with your friends in high school

• Your caregivers being exhausted all the time due to working multiple jobs in order to get by

• Feeling the inauthenticity in your home environment and the distrust your parents had toward other people because they were wealthy and thought people always wanted something from them or were after their money.

Even if you’ve grown beyond those childhood moments intellectually, your body and nervous system might still be reacting to money as if it’s unsafe, scarce, something to be protected at all costs, or shameful. 

Money Stress Lives in the Body

Our nervous systems interpret money issues as threats to safety because in our modern world money is the thing that keeps a roof over our heads and food on the table. That’s why checking your bank account can trigger panic, or why financial conversations can lead to shutdown, avoidance and conflict. When it comes to money, it’s so important to remember that it’s not about selfishness, laziness or irresponsibility – it’s about nervous system regulation and safety. 

Common Limiting Beliefs That Drive Money Stress

Some common beliefs we tend to hear as holistic therapists include:

• “I’m just bad with money.”

• “There’s never enough.”

• “I’ll never get ahead.”

• “I don’t deserve wealth.”

• “Money doesn’t matter to me.” 

• “My worth is tied to my wealth.”

• “People only like me for my money.”

• “I’m not allowed to struggle or ask for help.”

• “I didn’t earn this, so I don’t deserve it.”

• “Being rich makes me a bad or selfish person.”

These beliefs tend to operate in the background, driving unconscious behaviors like:

• Avoiding bank statements and tax documents

• Restricting spending out of fear, even on things that matter

• Overspending or impulse buying to soothe stress

• Judging or criticizing others’ spending habits

• Feeling shame about debt or not having savings

• Saying, “I don’t care about money,” when the truth is: you do, but it feels painful to admit

• Always picking up the check to “earn” love or belonging

• Lying or omitting details about your background to avoid feeling judged or embarrassed when others find out you are wealthy

• Chasing high-paying or prestigious roles even when they are unfulfilling to you

How to Identify Your Money Beliefs

Here are a few reflective prompts to help you notice the stories you carry around money: 

• What’s the first memory you have about money? Take a moment, center yourself, let your mind go and see what memory it brings you (write it down). 

• What messages did your caregivers give you about money, directly or indirectly?

• What do you feel in your body when you think about looking at your bank account or doing your taxes?

• Complete the sentence: “Money is _______________.” (Then ask: “What makes me believe that? Or, how did I get to that conclusion?”

Common Ways We Cope With Money Stress

It’s important to name the coping strategies many of us humans have developed in relation to money with compassion. It’s important to not judge and remember that these ways of coping were tools your inner system once needed to get through the situation you were in. 

Here are some we see often:

• Avoidance: Not opening bills, ignoring bank accounts, procrastinating taxes, avoiding money topics in conversations, not budgeting, pushing off debt and financial conversations.

• Over-Control: Hypervigilant budgeting, never allowing “unnecessary” spending, feeling unsafe spending even on basic needs or joy, constantly thinking about money and worst-case scenarios.

• Emotional or Impulse Spending: Using shopping to escape,soothe or distract from emotional pain and also to reward yourself. Continuously spending money to create comfort for yourself rather than allowing yourself to experience discomfort. 

• Minimizing: Telling yourself money doesn’t matter when it actually does. Saying, “I didn’t get into this line of work for the money” denying the importance of money. 

• Externalizing: Criticizing others for how they spend, to deflect from your own discomfort. 

• Overworking: Working hard to feel like you’ve “earned” the wealth you inherited, or struggling to allow yourself to rest or receive support without shame. Equating busyness with security or value.

• Under-Earning or Undervaluing: Staying in underpaid jobs out of fear or loyalty. Not negotiating raises or charging what you’re worth. Believe you have to “suffer” to be good or responsible. 

• Giving Excessively or Performatively: Giving away, donating or using philanthropy as ways to ease emotional discomfort of being wealthy rather than creating real connection and change. 

• Codependence or Financial Enmeshment: Relying on others for financial rescue or stability. Staying in relationships or unhealthy family dynamics so you don’t get cut off financially now or in the future. 

• Rebelling Against Wealth: Rejecting money, choosing a simple life and making a point of not needing money even when it’s readily available to you. 

• Disconnection or Fatalism: Believing you’ll never get ahead, so why try? Being disconnected from long-term vision or future planning. 

Can you relate to any of these ways of coping? (Most of us can.)

Healing Your Relationship With Money: Holistic Tools & Practices

Healing your relationship with money is a process, not a quick fix. It’s about reconnecting with your body, reshaping your beliefs, and learning new ways to relate to money that feel grounded and aligned with your values. 

Here are some concrete tools to try:

• Money Mapping - This is a practice of tracking where your money goes – not to judge, but to understand. Look at your bank statements and ask:

• Where is my money actually going?

• How do I feel about these purchases?

• Which ones align with my values?

• Which ones reflect impulse, fear, numbing, or avoidance?

Quick Tip: Create categories like “soul-giving”, “survival”, “numbing,” and “auto-pilot”. This helps you move from shame to curiosity. 

• Somatic Awareness - When financial stress shows up, pause and ask:

• What’s happening in my body right now?

• Can I offer myself support – maybe a hand on the heart, a deep breath, or grounding through my feet?

You can’t budget your way out of a dysregulated nervous system. You’ve got to show your nervous system that you are in fact safe by engaging in regulation strategies that speak directly to your body and return your nervous system to safety or homeostasis – then, clarity will follow. 

• Values-Based Spending - Ask yourself:

• What do I actually value? What matters most to me at my core?

• Does my spending reflect those values?

For example, if you value connection, but spend little on social or community-based experiences, that might be an area to re-align. 

• Rewriting Money Beliefs - Once you’ve identified a limiting money belief, try writing its opposite. 

• Old Belief: “There’s never enough.”

• New Belief: “There is enough to go around; my needs will be met.”

If you find yourself having a hard time believing and feeling your new belief, try using a process-belief. You’ll know you don’t believe your new belief when your body resists it, argues with it, rolls its eyes at it, etc. A process-belief is a new belief “in process” i.e. it’s the interim belief that we can feel as true in our bodies as we make our way to our new belief. 

• Process Belief: “There were times in my life when there wasn’t enough and I am learning to trust that my needs will be met.”

• Create a Money Date Ritual - Set aside 15-30 minutes once a week to spend time with and tend to your money – review spending, check in with intentions, pay bills. Light a candle, play music…make it as gentle, nurturing and enjoyable as possible. 

Remember, the goal is to shift your relationship with money; it’s consistency over perfection.

Closing Thoughts

Tax season might always carry some stress – but it can also be a yearly invitation to tend to your financial well-being with compassion and care. 

You don’t have to be perfect with money to build a healthier relationship with it. You just have to be willing to get curious, stay connected to your body, and take one step at a time. 

Your relationship with money is just that – a relationship. And like any relationship, it can grow, heal, and become a source of safety and support over time. 

Many people struggle to rewrite their limiting beliefs on their own, because this “rewriting process” is not purely intellectual. Our bodies and nervous systems must be involved in order for us to untangle from the old beliefs and neural networks that support them, and then build new beliefs and neural networks. It can be incredibly useful to work with a holistic, somatically trained therapist when it comes to rewriting limiting beliefs and actually feeling different about money. If you’re ready to receive compassion, connection, support and guidance in rewriting your money beliefs, we got you – just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

April Reflections: Money Stress, Beliefs & A Gentle Invitation

Unpacking Money Stress: A Holistic Look at Tax Season

Hi Brave Community!

As spring settles in and new life emerges all around us, many of us find ourselves feeling tense. This time of year, aka “tax season”, often brings a spike in stress – tight chests, scattered thoughts, perhaps shame and panic. 

And, while it’s easy to blame numbers on paper or looming deadlines, the roots of this stress actually reaches far deeper. 

What if the real tension isn’t about money itself, but about the stories we’ve been told – and the ones we keep telling ourselves? 

Where Money Stress Comes From

Money is more than just numbers and math. It’s emotions. It’s history. It’s the messages our minds and nervous systems absorbed from our families and our culture. 

Maybe you grew up hearing, “We can’t afford that.” Maybe you watched your caregivers fight about money, work themselves to exhaustion trying to survive, or protect suspiciously and fiercely around their wealth. 

Over time, these early experiences become core beliefs:

• “Money is scarce.”

• “People are only after your money.”

• “I have to work hard to deserve ease.”

• “Money equals success.”

• “I’m bad with money.”

• “Wanting money makes you greedy.”

These beliefs don’t just live in the mind – they show up in our bodies, our behaviors, our choices – especially in moments like tax season.

Money stress isn’t just about taxes – taxes are the trigger that bring your money beliefs and subsequent stress responses to the surface. 

We also want to take a moment to acknowledge the very real distress and pain that can accompany having to let go of hard earned money when you disagree with how your tax dollars are being used. 

A Gentle Invitation

There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling overwhelmed right now and you are certainly not alone. This is a potent opportunity to pause, reflect, and meet your money stress with compassion and curiosity. 

Here are a few journal questions to help you gently explore:

1. What physical sensations arise when I think about money right now?

2. What was I taught about money growing up (directly or indirectly)?

3. What beliefs do I carry about earning, saving, or spending money?

4. What do I wish I believed about money?

5. If I could write a new money story, what would I want it to feel like in my body?

You don’t have to figure it all out right away. Simply bringing awareness to these patterns is a powerful first step. And remember, your body and beliefs are not fixed – they’re adaptable, responsive, and wise <3

As always, we are here to support your process. Whether you’re navigating money stress, emotional triggers, or just wanting to feel more grounded this season – you are not alone and we got you! Just email us at info@bravecounseling.com to schedule a free consultation with one of our compassionate and non-judgemental therapists today! 

Therapist Highlight: Marlys Hersey

Meet the genuine, spicy, and good-humored Marlys Hersey!

Marlys (she/they) is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Licensed Addiction Counselor in the state of Colorado.

Throughout their career in counseling Marlys has worked in a variety of settings including community mental health, intensive rehabilitation treatment, integrated medicine, and private practice.

Marlys strives to allow the people she works with the space to gain essential insight & awareness, and learn the skills needed to create new and different results in their lives. Marlys fosters partnerships with their clients to help you feel better, function better, connect more easily with others, enjoy your life more, and move towards your goals with clarity, humor, and grace.

Marlys offers individual and couples therapy and is energized by working with folks who are motivated, open to collaborating, and 15 years or older.

Marlys uses and integrates a variety of therapy modalities including...

◾️ EMDR (Eye Movement and Desensitization Therapy)

◾️ IFS (Internal Family Systems)

◾️ SFBT (Solution-Focused Brief Therapy)

◾️ EFT (Emotion Focused Therapy)

◾️ Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction and Relapse Prevention

◾️ DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy)

◾️ ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)

◾️ LGBTQIA2S+ Affirming Therapy

Marlys specializes in helping people to...

◾️ Understand entrenched patterns and embrace various parts of themselves to reach a greater sense of wholeness

◾️ First understand their own behavior, and then learn and practice life-changing skills in emotional regulation, interpersonal effectiveness, mindfulness, and distress tolerance

◾️ Explore their preferred futures, and work towards the creating the lives they truly want

◾️ Improve their relationships – including with themselves

◾️ Heal from trauma

◾️ Function better day-to-day and reconnect with a sense of joy and purpose

Marlys as a person↓

►Personality: Strong, Witty, Curious

► Activities: Hiking, biking, hula hooping, walking, traveling, reading, writing, improv, staring at the sky (day or night), hanging out and talking with friends, snorkeling, and kayaking.

►Fun Facts: Marlys currently lives in San Luis Valley (south central CO) and has lived & traveled all over the U.S. and to several other countries -- they're hoping to finally make it to Europe this year. She's had over 100 jobs, is an animal lover, (with a special thing for cats), and has been involved in cat rescue and TNR efforts for years.

►Favorite Quote: "Life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced." - Soren Kierkegaard

Emerging from Winter: Clearing Emotional Clutter, Restoring Energy, and Embracing Spring’s Renewal

The Awakening Energy of Spring

As winter melts into spring (or…winter/spring/winter/spring as we do it here in Colorado!), many of us feel an inner stirring – a call to emerge from the slower, quieter months and reawaken to life. This transition can feel both energizing and overwhelming. Just as nature shakes off winter’s chill, we too must tend to our inner landscape to clear out emotional clutter, restore energy, and embrace spring’s renewal with balance. 

Clearing Emotional and Mental Clutter

Emotional clutter refers to the mental, emotional, and energetic buildup that accumulates over time – often without us realizing it. Just like a house gathers dust when left untouched, our inner world can become cluttered with unprocessed emotions, lingering wishes, unfinished stress responses, or mental loops that weigh us down. 

Winter’s slow pace and increased indoor time often brings introspection – which can be valuable – but, sometimes this inward focus amplifies old fears, regrets, or anxieties. Emotional clutter can also stem from:

• Unfinished Emotional Processing – Emotions that were pushed aside during the busier seasons likely surfaced when life slowed down during the winter months. But, emotions surfacing and emotions moving and processing are two different things. 

• Isolation and Stagnation – The longer nights and reduced social connection during winter can increase feelings of heaviness and mental fog. 

• Unexpressed Grief or Longing – Winter’s quiet can stir memories of what’s unresolved, and if we aren’t actively doing something with what’s unresolved then we can end up cycling around in the pain and the yuck throughout the winter.

• Internalized Conditioning and Beliefs – Messages from family, culture, or society – such as “I must always be productive”, or, “What I need isn’t important” – can create pressure and emotional heaviness. When we slow down during the winter and become introspective, these beliefs can surface.

• Unclear Boundaries – When we take on the feelings, expectations, or energy of others without clear energetic or emotional boundaries, emotional clutter builds. Winter has a way of naturally implementing more boundaries and down time (due to the weather), so it’s not uncommon to really begin to feel the effects of unclear boundaries have had on you over time. 

• Unfinished Business and Unresolved Conflicts – Unspoken words, lingering resentment, or unresolved relational dynamics can also surface during the winter when things are slower. Things that are unfinished and unresolved take up mental and emotional space inside, even when we try to suppress, forget or “let it go”. 

Spring’s energy invites movement, release, and renewal. Here are a few ways we can clear out stagnant emotions or built-up mental and emotional clutter:

• Journal for Clarity – Writing out thoughts and feelings can reveal what’s been lingering beneath the surface. This is a great first step in identifying what has built-up or what’s lingering and stagnant. 

• Name What You’re Releasing – Take your journaling a step further and clearly identify what is no longer serving you – maybe it’s self-doubt, resentment, or outdated beliefs – allow yourself to get clear on what you want to release this spring. 

• Bottom-Up Emotional Processing Work – Once you’ve clearly identified what you want to release, it’s time to take action by feeling your emotions all the way through so they can release from your mind, body, and soul. It’s important to get past the intellectual level of just thinking about your emotions and what you want to release, to actually feeling it all and feeling the release of it in your body. 

• Move Your Body – Physical movement (like stretching, yoga, dancing, somatic therapy, etc.) helps unlock stored tension and supports emotional flow. 

• Ritual - Doing something experiential like a fire bowl ritual creates another pathway and more support in helping your inner system release what is no longer serving you. Click here for simple fire ritual instructions.

• Create Space for Closure – If you’ve been avoiding a difficult conversation, project, or decision, now may be the time to address it and clear that mental weight. It could also be the case that some sort of protective response within you has been blocking you from creating closure – if that’s the case, try focusing on that protective response with bottom-up emotional processing work. 

Clearing emotional and mental clutter is less about “letting it go” and forcing your inner experiences to stop. It’s more about inviting spaciousness, making room for clarity, creativity, and a deeper sense of presence. By consciously releasing emotional clutter, you can create space for spring’s revitalizing energy to move freely within you. 

Navigating the Emotional Impact of Seasonal Shifts

As humans, we are deeply connected to nature, yet modern life rarely honors this. The shift from winter to spring is a powerful biological and energetic change – yet many of us are expected to maintain the same routine year-round. 

Navigating the seasonal shift from winter to spring invites both intention and compassion. While spring’s increasing light and warmth can feel energizing, this transition can also be jarring – especially since winter’s slower pace promoted rest and introspection. The body may need time to recalibrate, and emotions that were quieter in winter may surface as energy rises. This “thawing out” can bring feelings of agitation, overwhelm, or even grief, as unresolved emotions emerge alongside the season’s momentum. Recognizing this as part of a natural cycle can ease self-judgement and help you respond with greater care. 

If you’re curious to know more ways this seasonal shift can affect us humans, click here to check out a recent blog of ours on this topic. 

To support yourself during this shift, consider practices that bridge the stillness of winter with the movement of spring. Grounding techniques – such as breathwork, gentle stretching,mindful walking, or this grounding practice that’s part of our Quick Guides to Healing – can anchor you as your energy begins to expand. Balancing rest with activity is key; you may feel moments of excitement and productivity followed by fatigue, which is normal as your system adjusts. Tending to your nervous system through somatic practices, nourishing foods, and moments of quiet reflection can create steadiness amid change. Above all, honoring your unique rhythm – rather than forcing yourself to match the pace of American culture – allows you to emerge from winter with intention, resilience, and renewed vitality. 

**If you found our Quick Guide to Healing on grounding useful, click here to sign up for our newsletter to stay in the loop and receive more FREE quick healing tips & guides!

Restoring Energy After Winter Burnout

Winter’s slower pace invites rest, but for many people, it can also result in a kind of “energy stagnation”. While spring’s longer days and warming temperatures naturally boost energy, this renewed vitality can feel uncomfortable if your body or mind is still in winter’s slower rhythm. 

As Newton’s first law suggests, “an object at rest stays at rest”, after months of being slower and more inward, your system may resist the sudden increase in momentum and you end up feeling “wired-but-tired”. This common spring experience arises when your energy feels scattered – as if your mind is racing while your body struggles to keep up. It’s often a sign that your nervous system is still adjusting. 

How to Restore Energy with Balance:

• Start with Gentle Movement – Instead of jumping into intense exercise or packed schedules, begin with stretching, walking, or light cardio to gradually wake up your system. You can add more over time.

• Embrace Morning Sunlight – Exposing your eyes to natural light in the morning helps regulate your circadian rhythm and increases energy naturally. Try going for morning walks before starting your work day. 

• Prioritize Grounding Practices – Breathwork, mindfulness, or time in nature can stabilize the “buzziness” that often accompanies spring’s arrival. 

• Replenish Depleted Nutrients – Focus on fresh, vibrant foods rich in B vitamins, magnesium, and antioxidants to nourish your body as it shifts gears. 

• Balance Rest and Activity - Do your best to schedule in downtime or nervous system resets (like a 5 minute “legs up the wall” practice) throughout your days during the months of March and April.  

Final Thoughts: Embracing a Balanced Spring Awakening

Spring’s renewal invites us to clear what’s stagnant, embrace fresh energy, and move forward with intention. By releasing emotional clutter, honoring your connection to seasonal rhythms, and replenishing your energy mindfully, you can step into spring feeling grounded yet energized (aka balanced!). 

Embrace this season’s awakening not as a race to catch up but as a gentle invitation to bloom – steadily, intentionally, and in alignment with your unique pace. 

What does your mind, body, and spirit need most this spring?

Not sure? That’s okay, we got you! If you’re ready to ready navigate seasonal shifts with intention, in a way that feels balanced, consider working with us. We are a group of holistic therapists with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you in moving through times of transition with more control and less overwhelm. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

Welcome Spring with Fresh Intentions

Hello Brave Community!

Can you believe it’s daylight saving time again?! Yeppers, it’s true. This Sunday (3/9) we “spring ahead” by 1 hour and the number of daylight hours we get to experience increases. And just like that, we are exiting out of winter and sliding into spring.

As the seasons shift, so do we. The transition from winter to spring is typically very welcomed by many, but it can bring both uplifting and challenging experiences. Check out the bullet points below for a list of some ways the seasonal shift from winter to spring affects us humans.

Psychological Effects

• Increased Energy, Mental Clarity & Motivation - As daylight increases, so does serotonin, often leading to improved mood and motivation. The rising temperatures and longer daylight hours can lift brain fog and inspire new projects.

• Shift in Mindset - Moving from the introspective energy of winter to the outward-facing energy of spring can bring a desire for growth, exploration, and social engagement.

• Restlessness, Anxiety & Impatience - After months of slower energy, the sudden shift can bring feelings of urgency and frustration. The transition can be unsettling, particularly for those sensitive to change, as the stillness of winter gives way to movement. 

• Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Relief - More sunlight often boosts serotonin, helping to alleviate symptoms of winter depression.

• Spring Cleaning Impulse - The psychological need to declutter both physical spaces and mental/emotional baggage is heightened. 

Physical Effects

• Changes in Sleep Patterns - More daylight can disrupt sleep schedules; adjusting your evening routine can help.

• Increased Energy Levels - For some people, exposure to more sunlight can help regulate circadian rhythms, improving sleep and overall vitality. 

• Seasonal Allergies & Detoxification - The body naturally shits into detox mode, which can manifest as increased elimination (sweating, digestion, even mild skin breakouts). Spring allergies may also arise due to pollen and environmental changes.

• Fluctuating Appetite & Cravings - As your metabolism adjusts, warmer weather often shifts food preferences from heavy, warming foods to fresh, lighter meals like greens and fruits; listen to what your body needs.

Emotional Effects

• Mood Swings/Emotional Ups & Downs - Spring can evoke a mix of renewal and overwhelm, especially if there’s pressure to “wake up” and be productive.

• Hope & Excitement - The promise of new beginnings can bring feelings of optimism and inspiration.

• Heightened Sensitivity - Just as nature awakens, emotions can feel raw and intensified, especially old wounds or unresolved grief from winter's introspection.

• Increased Social Desire - Many experience a pull toward community, relationships, and outdoor activities.

Spiritual Effects

• Awakening & Rebirth - Many cultures and spiritual traditions see spring as a time of renewal, symbolizing growth, and fresh starts.

• Deeper Connection to Nature - The return of greenery, flowers, and wildlife can rekindle awe, gratitude, and mindfulness. 

• Inspiration & Creativity - Spring's beauty often sparks artistic expression, new ideas, and a desire to create. 

• Purging & Letting Go - Just as nature sheds the old to make way for the new, there's a natural urge to release outdated beliefs, habits, or emotional weight. 

• Increased Desire for Movement - This time of year people often feel more drawn toward getting outside, moving their bodies, yoga, walking, gardening, etc. 

What shifts have you already been noticing within yourself?

What ones have yet to arrive? 

Which shifts do you desire for yourself? 

If you are someone who...

• doesn't like setting New Year's resolutions

• goals just don't make sense to set in January during the middle of winter

• is noticing increased energy and motivation now that spring is here

...check out the next session for a short but powerful intention setting journal ritual!

A Simple Spring Intention-Setting Practice

While January is often seen as the time for resolutions, spring – nature’s season of renewal – may actually be a more natural and sustainable time to set new intentions for the year ahead. With longer days, increased sunlight, improved energy, and a sense of possibility, this is a great time to reflect on what you truly want to cultivate in your life and 

Rather than forcing strict goals, try this gentler approach. Start by journaling:

• Reflect - What feels most alive in you right now? What do you feel drawn to?

• Refine - What’s one small shift that could support growth this season?

• Root - What daily practice or ritual can ground this intention in your life?

Feel free to set 1 intention using these reflect, refine and root journal prompts, or, set several different intentions pertaining to different areas of your life. 

Looking for an embodiment practice to help you feel grounded amidst the mania of spring? We got you!

We are rolling out our new bimonthly newsletters where we will cover a holistic mental health topic in the first one and offer a link to one of our Insight Timer guided meditations (embodiment practices) in the second.

So, stay tuned! Our second newsletter with a spring-themed embodiment practice will be coming to you at the end of March!

Therapist Highlight: Sophia Tornabene

Meet  the marvelous Sophia Tornabene.

Sophia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker originally from Brooklyn, New York who is currently based in Colorado.

Sophia believes that our stories do not define us, but they are a part of us. In many ways she has come to realize that when people feel seen, heard, and valued they are able to fully embrace themselves and show up authentically in all aspects of their lives.

Her therapeutic philosophy is rooted in understanding how your intersecting identities impact the way you think and how you navigate through life and its challenges.

Sophia believes having a warm, supportive, and accepting therapeutic space allows for deeper self-connection, curiosity, and exploration and therefore is essential to healing and growth. Sophia sees you as the expert on your experiences, and it is her role is to meet you where you are and tailor her approach to meet your needs.

Sophia uses a variety of therapy modalities including...

• EMDR

• Parts Work

• Attachment theory
  

Sophia specializes in working with...

• Folks navigating relationships (dating, friendships, familial)

• Young adults & college students

•  People wanting to develop their confidence

• People wanting to overcome people pleasing

• Life Transitions

• Attachment wounds

• Emotional connection and understanding

• Anxiety
  

Sophia as a person↓

• Personality: Heartfelt, wise, down-to-earth & passionate 

• Activities: Pottery, skiing, hiking, and exploring new cities & restaurants

• Travels: Iceland, France, Italy, Nicaragua, & Spain. Visiting Thailand and Tokyo are currently at the top of her bucket list!

• Pets: Two adorable kitties named Zucchini and Zeppole

• Quotes: “We seek connection, predictability, and dependability to root us firmly in place. But we also have a need for change, for the unexpected, for transcendence.” - Esther Perel 

Self-Love Part 3: Embodying Self-Love in Daily Life

Self-love is often spoken about as an abstract concept – something we should aspire to, but unfortunately, it can feel out of reach in the realities of everyday life in our modern world. We might read about it, hear affirmations about it, and even intellectually understand its importance, yet struggle to truly feel it. The challenge isn’t just knowing that self-love matters – it’s embodying it. 

As holistic therapists, we see self-love not as a destination but as a practice, something we intentionally cultivate in big and small ways each day. It’s about shifting from an idea to a lived experience that influences how we care for ourselves, relate to others, and navigate challenges. 

Moving From Concept to Embodied Self-Love

Self-love isn’t just about bubble baths and positive affirmations (although they have their place!). It’s about how we treat ourselves in every moment – how we listen to our needs, how we speak to ourselves internally, and how we honor our well-being. 

To move from concept to embodiment, start by asking:

• If I truly loved myself, how would I show up differently today?

• What would change about the way I make decisions, set boundaries, or rest?

• How can I bring self-love into my body, not just my mind?

Bringing self-love into the body can look like grounding techniques, mindful movement, or even placing a hand on your heart and taking a deep breath when you feel overwhelmed. Small, repeated actions create new patterns of self-relationship. 

Integrating Self-Love Into Relationships, Work & Daily Habits

Self-Love doesn’t exist just because we want it to. We have to actively engage in practices of self-love to begin feeling it and it doesn’t exist in isolation – it extends into every aspect of life. 

Here are practical ways to embody self-love in key areas:

Relationships

• Practice communicating your needs without guilt. Self-love includes believing your feelings and boundaries matter. 

• Notice when you seek external validation and pause. Can you validate yourself first?

• Surround yourself with people who uplift and respect you. Letting go of toxic dynamics is an act of self-love. 

Work & Purpose

• Give yourself permission to take breaks and honor your limits instead of pushing through exhaustion.

• Challenge your inner critic by offering compassionate self-talk and encouragement instead of harsh self-talk

• If possible, align your work with what nourishes you rather than just what’s expected of you

Daily Habits

• Nourish your body with food, movement, and rest that feels good – not just what you “should” do

• Create small moments of joy – listen to music you love, step outside for fresh air, or engage in a creative practice

• Set gentle boundaries with social media or news consumption to protect your energy

If you notice that…

• Guilt continues to come up 

• It’s difficult for you to believe that your feelings and needs matter

• No matter much you validate yourself, you continue to seek external validation

• You’re too afraid let go of one-sided or toxic relationships

• Your inner critic just won’t quit no matter what you try

…these are indicators of having an inner block (unresolved wounding and stress responses) and emotional processing work is needed. 

Handling Setbacks With Self-Compassion

Unfortunately, self-love isn’t always linear. There will be days when doubt, old patterns, or self-criticism creep in. The key is not to use these moments as evidence that you’re failing, but as opportunities to practice self-compassion. 

When setbacks happen:

• Acknowledge your feelings without judgment

• Speak to yourself as you would a dear friend. Would you shame them for struggling, or offer kindness?

• Remember, self-love is a practice, not perfection and not a destination. Each moment is a chance to begin again. Reset as many times as you need to, no one is counting. 

Journal Prompts: Creating Your Personal Self-Love Commitment

Journaling can help anchor self-love in a tangible way. Here are some prompts to explore:

1. What does self-love mean to me, beyond what I’ve been told it “should” be?

2. How do I currently show love to myself? Where do I hold back?

3. What’s one loving thing I can commit to doing for myself daily?

4. What is something I can say to myself (quote, mantra, affirmation) when I face challenges?

5. How can I bring self-love into my body, not just my thoughts?

Self-love is not a finish line – it’s a way of being in relationship with yourself, every single day. The more you practice it in small, meaningful ways, the more it becomes your natural state. 

What’s one self-loving action you can take today? (hint hint, you might have already done it by taking the time to read this blog!)

If you find yourself struggling to integrate these daily self-love practices, we are here for you! We are holistic therapists in Colorado with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you unraveling the patterns that are holding you back from truly embodying self-love. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP! 

Self-Love Part 2: The Somatic Connection – Healing Through the Body

As holistic therapists, we’ve seen firsthand how the body holds onto our unprocessed emotions, unresolved stress, deep-seated patterns of protection or defense, and layers of wounding. Because of our culture, we often get taught to think of healing as something that happens in the mind – through insight, positive thinking, or talking things out. But true healing and transformation must also happen in the body and soul. Our nervous system, muscles, breath and posture all play a role in shaping how we feel about ourselves. This is the somatic connection: the profound way in which healing occurs through the body. 

You can tell you have unresolved pain and wounding being stored in your body when you know you need to relate to yourself with compassion and love, but for some reason you just can’t get yourself to do it…instead your body wins out and you end up continuing the same old patterns of self-criticism, distraction, and shame. 

How Emotions Are Stored in the Body

When we experience emotions, they don’t just disappear if we don’t fully process them. Instead, they get stored in our nervous system, muscles, and fascia. When we suppress anger, grief, or fear, our body adapts by tightening muscles, holding tension, or altering our breathing patterns. Over time, these stored emotions can contribute to chronic pain, fatigue, digestive issues, and a persistent feeling of being disconnected from ourselves. 

One of the most overlooked consequences of unprocessed emotions is their impact on self-worth and self-love. When we carry unresolved pain and stress responses, our nervous system remains on high alert, interpreting the world (and ourselves) through a lens of survival. When we are in survival mode that’s the focus; there isn’t any attention or energy for anything else other than getting through. In this state, self-criticism becomes second nature, we struggle to feel worthy, loveable, or at peace in our own skin and life feels like a continuous struggle. 

 

The Role of Body Awareness in Healing Shame and Self-Criticism 

Shame, like other emotions, is a body-based emotion. It often manifests as a collapsing of the chest and solar plexus, a tightening of the throat, a shrinking inward, and an urge to isolate or hide. Shame is the feeling that “this part of me is not connectable” that “no one wants to know or be with this part of me.” 

When we live in a chronic state of self-criticism, our nervous system reinforces the belief that we are not enough or there’s something wrong with us as we are. Healing this pattern requires more than just changing our thoughts – it requires reconnecting with the body in an energetically compassionate way. 

Developing body awareness is a crucial step in healing shame. When we gently tune into our sensations, we begin to notice where we hold tension and self-protection. Instead of judging our body’s reactions, we can learn to approach them with curiosity and care. By doing this we experientially show our nervous systems and the shameful parts of ourselves that they are deserving of connection, that no emotion, thought, or behavior will cause disconnection or abandonment. This shift allows us to replace self-criticism with self-compassion – an essential foundation for self-love. 

Building New Neural Pathways with Somatic Practices

Somatic practices help us rewire our nervous system and build new patterns of self-connection. Through movement, breathwork, and mindful body awareness, we can build neural networks that support self-compassion instead of self-judgment. 

When we repeatedly engage in practices that signal safety and self-acceptance to the nervous system, our brain forms new pathways. This is neuroplasticity in action – the ability of our brain to change based on our experiences. Over time, the more we embody self-compassion aka live in a kind, accountable, and loving way the more natural it becomes. 

A Somatic Practice for Accessing Self-Compassion: The Self-Love Body Scan

This simple yet powerful body scan helps access self-compassion by guiding you to connect with your body in a gentle, loving way. 

1. Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and begin:

2. Ground Yourself – Feel the support of the surface beneath you. Let your body be held. 

3. Breathe with Intention – Take slow, deep breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. With each breath, imagine softening into yourself. 

4. Scan Your Body with Curiosity – Bring your attention to your feet. Notice any sensations – warmth, tingling, tension. Without judgment, simply observe. Continue scanning up through your legs, torso, arms, and head.

5. Offer Kindness to Each Area – As you move through each part of your body, silently say: “I see you. I honor you. I’m here with you.” If you feel resistance or discomfort, place a gentle hand on that area and breathe into it.

6. End with Gratitude – Place both hands over your heart. Take three slow breaths and whisper (out loud or internally) words of appreciation for who you are (including messy parts!).

Because this practice is experiential (not just about thinking) it helps rewire the nervous system to associate the body with safety, rather than shame or self-judgment. Over time, it nurtures self-compassion and deepens your connection to yourself. 

Healing Through the Body

The mind-body-soul connection reminds us that healing is not just about changing our thoughts – it’s about embodying self-love. If you could think your way through to a more loving relationship with yourself, you would have done it already. When we release stored emotions, bring awareness to our body, and engage in compassionate practices, we transform our relationship with ourselves. We learn that we are not broken – we are carrying unprocessed experiences that are ready to be met with love. True healing happens when we listen to the body, honor its wisdom, and allow ourselves to feel safe, seen, and held within our own being. This is the path to deep, lasting self-love. 

If you’re ready to release the inner blocks that are getting in the way of feeling your self-love,  consider working with us! We are holistic therapists in Colorado with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you unraveling the patterns that are holding you back from truly loving yourself. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP! 

Self-Love Part 1: Understanding Self-Love – More Than Just a Buzzword

Self-love is often marketed as bubble baths, spa days, and positive affirmations. While these can be wonderful acts of self-care, true self-love runs much deeper. It’s not just something we think about or do – it’s something we feel, embody, and integrate into every part of our being. 

As holistic therapists, we see self-love as an ongoing relationship you have with yourself – one that requires patience, awareness, and healing. It’s about how we speak to ourselves in difficult moments, how we honor our needs and limits, and whether we can sit with our pain without judgment. 

But how do we move beyond the idea of self-love and into the felt experience of it? 

The Difference Between Thinking vs. Feeling Self-Love

Many people think they love themselves because they intellectually understand the concept and agree that it’s a “good thing to do”. They might say, “Of course I love myself – I take care of my health, I do things that make me happy.” But self-love isn’t just about what we do; it’s about what we feel energetically and in our bodies. 

True self-love feels like:

• A sense of safety, steadiness and belonging from within yourself

• Gentle warmth in your chest when you acknowledge your worth

• A softening in your body when you meet yourself with compassion

• The ability to experience joy and pleasure without guilt

• A willingness to embrace your imperfections without needing to “fix” them

If these feelings seem distant or fleeting, it may be due to unconscious barriers formed through societal conditioning and past experiences that are blocking your ability to fully receive self-love (we all have these blocks!)

How Conditioning & Past Experiences Block Self Love

From an early age, we absorb messages about our worth or value from family, culture, media, and relationships. Many of us internalize beliefs like:

• “I’m only lovable if I achieve or perform well.”

• “Taking care of myself is selfish.”

• “I have to be perfect to deserve love.”

• “My emotions are too much for other people.”

These subconscious narratives shape how we relate to ourselves. If we’ve experienced ongoing criticism, neglect, or rejection, we may develop an inner voice that mirrors those experiences, making self-love feel unnatural, uncomfortable, or sometimes near impossible.

Healing these barriers requires a holistic approach – one that integrates mind, body, and soul. 

A Holistic Approach to Self-Love: Mind, Body & Soul

To access authentic self-love, we must engage in healing and growth work on all four levels of ourselves:

• Mind - Becoming aware of negative self-talk and shifting it with curiosity rather than force. Instead of “I’m not good enough” try asking, “Where did this belief come from? And, how does having this belief help or protect me?” 

• Body - Noticing how self-love (or lack of it) feels physically. Do you tense up when you receive compliments? Do you numb emotions through distractions? Practices like breathwork, movement, and touch (self-massage, placing a hand on your heart, etc) can help rewire how you experience self-love in your body. 

• Emotion - What are your tendencies when emotion arises? Do you get urges to turn away from it? Does a part of you tell you that emotions are weak and pointless? Do you accept your emotions as part of being human and wait for the crucial messages about your needs to come through? Getting into a practice of meeting emotions with compassion and curiosity can help you gain more access to your core self that exists in a state of calm and compassion i.e. love. 

• Soul- Connecting with something greater than yourself, whether through nature, meditation, creativity, or spiritual practices, can remind you that you are inherently worthy – simply because you exist. You don’t have to do anything or become something else in order to have value, you already do because you are a living, breathing soul.

Reflection Exercise: Identifying Your Barriers to Self-Love

Take a few moments to reflect on the following questions. Journaling your responses can help uncover subconscious blocks and patterns. 

1. What messages did I receive about love and worthiness growing up? What did my family care about most or was valued in my family?

2. How do I speak to myself when I’m struggling or make a mistake?

3. Do I feel comfortable receiving love, praise, or care from others? Why or why not?

4. What emotions arise when I try to practice self-love? Do I feel resistance, guilt or discomfort?

5. If self-love felt natural and easy for me, how would my life be different?

As you explore your responses, notice what emotions or sensations arise in your body. If discomfort comes up, notice where in your body you feel the discomfort and see if you can offer the discomfort kindness and breath rather than pushing it away. Awareness is the first step to change. 

Final Thoughts

Self-love is not a destination but a practice – a way of being with yourself that evolves over time. Some days, it feels effortless; other days, it requires deep inner work. The key is to keep showing up for yourself, with as much gentleness and patience as you would for someone you deeply love. 

Remember, you are already worthy. The healing and growth journey is simply about remembering that truth and removing the inner blocks to believing it. 

If you’re ready to dive deeper into your journey of self-love, consider working with us! We are holistic therapists in Colorado with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you unraveling the patterns that are holding you back from truly loving yourself. You, just as much as anyone else, deserve love and the relationship you have with yourself is the longest relationship you will ever have so it’s worth investing in. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP! 

Find Your Voice: Part 2: Releasing the Freeze and Fawn Responses – Regaining Confidence Through the Body (Copy)

As holistic therapists in Colorado, we often hear the women we work with say, “I just froze. I didn’t do or say anything” and, “”I didn’t agree with them, but I found myself nodding and smiling” followed by feelings of guilt and shame. Whether it’s in a conflict, a moment of fear, or even when faced with an exciting but overwhelming opportunity, freezing and fawning are of the most common stress responses – especially for women. 

Freeze leaves us feeling stuck, unable to act, and disconnected from our power. Fawn, on the other hand, causes us to override our own needs in order to appease others. While these responses were originally designed to keep us safe, they can become habitual patterns that drain our confidence, prevent self-expression and keep us from getting what we need and want. 

The good news? The body holds the key to moving beyond these patterns. In this post, we’ll explore the five stress responses, why freeze and fawn are so common for women, and embodiment techniques to shift from hesitation and people-pleasing into grounded confidence. 

Understanding the Five Stress Responses

The nervous system responds to stress in five primary ways:

1. Fight - The body gears up to confront a threat. You might feel tension, heat, or an urge to vent, argue or defend yourself. 

2. Flight - The body wants to escape. You might feel restless, anxious, or like you need to leave the situation. 

3. Freeze - The body locks up, bracing for impact. You may feel heavy, foggy, numb, or unable to move, speak or get things done.

4. Fawn - The instinct to appease. You might automatically agree, over-apologize, or suppress your needs to maintain harmony. 

5. Flop - A total collapse. You might feel emotionally shut down, disconnected, or physically weak. 

All of these are survival mechanisms, not conscious choices. But when freeze or fawn become our default responses, they can make it difficult to assert boundaries, take action, or trust our instincts. 

Why Freeze and Fawn Are So Common for Women

While anyone can experience any of the stress responses, freeze and fawn tend to be more common in women. The reason for this has some to do with biology, but it’s also deeply social. Patriarchal conditioning shapes how all genders experience safety, power, and expression, influencing everything from workplace culture to relationship dynamics. 

For many women, freezing or fawning isn’t just a reflex – it’s a learned survival strategy. When direct confrontation (fight) or escape (flight) aren’t viable options, the nervous system defaults to the safest remaining choices: staying small (freeze) or appeasing (fawn). 

How Patriarchal Conditioning Reinforces Freeze and Fawn

Patriarchy conditions people into rigid gender roles, where men are expected to be dominant and assertive, while women are often socialized to be accommodating, agreeable, and non-threatening. This messaging starts early and plays out in both personal and professional spaces:

In Work Culture: Power Dynamics and The “Likability Trap”

• Women are often penalized for showing assertiveness or ambition in ways that men are not. 

• Research shows that when women advocate for themselves (higher pay, leadership roles), they’re seen as “difficult” or “aggressive”. This makes fawning – prioritizing relationships, de-escalating tension, and appearing agreeable – the safest response. 

• If a woman speaks up and is ignored or dismissed repeatedly, her nervous system may learn to freeze instead of engaging, believing it’s futile to assert herself. 

In Relationships: Emotional Labor and Boundary Violations

• Many women are raised to prioritize keeping the peace over setting boundaries. Fawning becomes second nature in order to maintain harmony, even at personal cost. 

• In conflict, if a woman has learned that expressing anger leads to backlash, being called “dramatic”, or that her “no” is often ignored, freezing becomes a protective mechanism to endure discomfort or try and keep connection. 

• In situations of coercion or abuse, freezing is a common survival response when fighting or leaving is impossible or creates more risks to safety.

Social Expectations: The Pressure to Be “Good”

• Women are taught that being “nice” is more important than being authentic.

• There’s an expectation to care for others before themselves, making it  harder to recognize their own needs. 

• Being overly accommodating is often rewarded in families, schools, and workplaces, reinforcing fawning as a preferred response. 

How it Hurts Everyone (Not Just Women)

While freeze and fawn are more common in women, patriarchy harms all genders by distorting natural stress responses.

Men are often discouraged from fawning or freezing, pushed instead toward fight/flight as “masculine” reactions. This can suppress emotional intelligence and encourage dominance over collaboration. 

Non-binary and gender-diverse individuals face pressure (and sometimes violence) to conform to either side of these rigid roles, creating even more stress.  

In workplaces, relationships, and communities, the imbalance of power keeps people disconnected from their authentic responses, reinforcing cycles of stress, burnout, and miscommunication. 

Why This Matters for Healing

Understanding that freeze and fawn are conditioned, not just instinctive, allows us to approach healing differently. Instead of blaming ourselves for “not speaking up” or “always people-pleasing” we can recognize that these responses were once intelligent adaptations – and that we can gently unlearn them through body-centered tools that restore a sense of safety and choice.

While these patterns may have helped us in the past, they aren’t serving us in our daily lives now. The key to shifting them is working with the body first, rather than trying to force a mindset change alone.  

By reconnecting with the body and practicing somatic (body-based) techniques that expand our ability to act, express, and set boundaries, we can move beyond the limitations of these conditioned responses. Healing freeze and fawn isn’t about forcing confidence – it’s about creating an internal environment where confidence feels safe. 

Somatic Practices to Release Freeze & Fawn

Both freeze and fawn are states of disempowerment. To shift out of them, we need to reconnect with the body’s felt sense of safety, strength, and presence. 

• Orienting (great first step for freeze)- Look around and actually see if you are in danger, usually the case is “no” so  let your brian and body know there is no life-or-death danger 

• Actually look all around you – look to the right, to the left, behind you, above you, below you, out in front and ask if you are in danger

• Grounding Through the Feet (great for freeze and fawn) - When you feel frozen or overly focused on others, grounding helps you reconnect to yourself. 

• Stand with your feet hip-width apart and press them into the floor

• Imagine roots growing from your feet into the earth. 

• Rock slowly from one foot to the other, feeling the shift in weight. 

• Shake It Off (great for freeze and fawn) - Shaking resets the nervous system and helps release stuck energy (both freeze and fawn responses are driven by over-activated energy). 

• Stand up and shake out your hands, arms, legs, and torso. 

• Imagine shaking off people-pleasing tendencies or moments where you felt stuck. 

• Breathe deeply and let out a sigh or sound as you shake. 

• Power Posing to Reclaim Confidence (great for fawn) - When fawning, the body often becomes smaller – shoulders round, posture shrinks. Power posing expands your presence. 

• Stand tall, feet planted, hands on hips or raised in a “victory” position.

• Breathe deeply, feeling the strength in your stance.

• Hold for two minutes, noticing any shifts in sensation or emotion. 

• Boundary Breathwork (great for fawn) - Fawning disconnects us from our own needs. This breath practice helps reclaim space. 

• Inhale deeply, imagining yourself filling up with energy. 

• Exhale slowly, visualizing an energetic bubble expanding around you. 

• Repeat for 3-5 breaths, reinforcing the feeling of personal space. 

• Tactile Anchoring to Reconnect (great for freeze and fawn) - Touch signals safety to the nervous system. 

• Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly, and breathe deeply. 

• Press your palms together or hug yourself gently. 

• Tap your arms and/or legs rhythmically to bring sensation back. 

Bringing These Practices Into Daily Life

Healing from freeze and fawn isn’t about forcing confidence – it’s about building a sense of safety from within your own body. 

• If you tend to freeze, start with orienting to your surroundings, grounding, then gentle movement. 

• If you tend to fawn, practice power posing and boundary breathwork.

• If you do both, experiment with what feels best in different situations. 

By working with your body, you create new neural pathways of resilience. Over time, you’ll notice that moments of freeze and fawn become shorter, your ability to take action increases, and your confidence feels more natural and embodied. 

The next time you feel yourself freezing or people-pleasing (aka fawning) remember: your body is not betraying you, it’s trying to protect you. By using these techniques you can guide your nervous system back into flow and reclaim your sense of power. Over time, you’ll notice more ease in speaking up, setting boundaries, and trusting your instincts. 

Which of these practices do you want to try? Let us know by reaching out to us as info@bravecounseling.com – we’d be happy to support and guide you in reclaiming your voice and power!

Find Your Voice: Part 3: Embodied Assertiveness – Speaking with Authenticity and Power

Have you ever left a conversation feeling frustrated, unheard, or like you abandoned yourself to keep the peace? Many of us struggle with expressing our needs, setting boundaries, or standing in our truth – especially when emotions run high. The good news? Assertiveness isn’t about being aggressive or dominant; it’s about speaking from an integrated place of self-trust, authenticity, and inner power. 

Embodied assertiveness is the practice of aligning your voice, body, and emotions so that your words carry both clarity and presence. It allows you to speak with honesty while staying connected to yourself and others. In this blog, we’ll explore what healthy, embodied assertiveness looks and feels like, along with practical tools to help you prepare for and navigate difficult conversations – especially in romantic relationships which can often be the hardest to speak up in. 

What Does Healthy, Embodied Assertiveness Feel Like? 

Embodied assertiveness isn’t just about the words you say – it’s about how you feel in your body when you say them. When you communicate assertively, you experience:

• Groundedness - You feel rooted in your body, rather than shaky, disconnected or “in your head”.

• Clarity - Your words come from a deep knowing of your truth, not from reactivity or fear.

• Calm Confidence - You’re not over-explaining or apologizing for your needs. You’re not putting a bubbly spin on things, your voice is your own and your feel settled.

• Open Presence - You stay engaged, breathing fully, and listening as much as you speak. 

In contrast, when we’re passive, we may feel small, tight, or frozen. When we’re aggressive, we may feel tense, rigid, or overpowering. Embodied assertiveness helps us find the middle ground – where we honor ourselves while respecting others. 

Preparing for a Difficult Conversation (Romantically and Emotionally)

Before a big conversation, especially in a romantic relationship, it’s important to prepare both your nervous system and your mindset. Here are some somatic and holistic practices to help you regulate your energy before speaking up:

Ground Yourself in Your Body

• Take a few deep belly breaths to engage your vagus nerve to activate your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest mode). 

• Feel your feet on the ground or place a hand on your heart or grab opposite elbows to anchor yourself. 

• Do a short body scan: Where do you feel tension? Can you soften those areas? 

Regulate Your Emotions

• If you feel anxious, shake out your arms and legs to discharge excess energy. 

• If you feel emotionally flooded, do your best to slow things down for yourself internally by using skills like… 

• “Name it to tame it” 

• Gently separate from the emotion by stating “I am experiencing anger right now” vs. “I’m angry” 

• Place a cool washcloth on your neck to soothe your system, or, hold ice cubes in your hands

• If you feel disconnected, hum or take deep sighs to bring presence back into your body. 

Clarify Your Intention

Ask yourself:

• What do I truly need to express?

• What outcome am I hoping for?

• How do I want to feel during and after this conversation?

Journaling Prompt: What does my body need in order to feel safe and strong while expressing myself?

A Framework for Assertive Communication

When emotions run high, it helps to have a structured way of expressing yourself. The “I feel, I need, I invite” framework ensures that your communication is clear, balanced, non-defensive and non-violent. 

Step 1: Express Your Feelings (without blame)

Instead of: “You never listen to me!”

Try: “I feel unheard when I share something important, and it seems like it’s not acknowledged.”

Step 2: State Your Need Clearly

Instead of: “You need to change how you talk to me!”

Try: “I need to feel that my thoughts and feelings are valued in this relationship.”

Step 3: Offer an Invitation for Connection

Instead of: “You should do better”

Try: “Would you be open to pausing and reflecting back what I’m saying, so I feel heard?”

Role-Playing Scenarios for Practice

While we get that role-playing is not everyone’s favorite, practicing getting your thoughts organized and words out before a conversation can actually make it feel more natural in the moment. Here are a few role-playing scenarios to explore with a friend, therapist, or even by speaking out loud to yourself or trying mirror work. 

Scenario 1: Addressing an Unmet Need

Your partner frequently cancels plans at the last minute. 

(Dysregulated) Passive Response: “It’s fine, I get that you’re busy.” (Even though you’re hurt.)

(Dysregulated) Aggressive Response: “You obviously don’t care about my time at all!”

(Regulated) Assertive Response: “I feel disappointed when our plans get cancelled because I value our time together. I need to feel prioritized in our relationship. Can we find a way to honor our plans more consistently?”

Scenario 2: Setting a Boundary

Your partner raises their voice when they're frustrated. 

(Dysregulated) Passive Response: [thinking] “I’ll just stay quiet so I don’t make it worse.”

(Dysregulated) Aggressive Response: “You’re so rude! You need to stop yelling at me!”

(Regulated) Assertive Response: “When voices are raised, I feel overwhelmed and shut down. I need conversations to stay calm. If we can’t, I’ll need to step away and revisit it later.” 

Journaling Prompts for Deepening Your Assertiveness Practice

1. When was a time I struggled to speak my truth? How did my body feel?

2. What fears come up when I think about being assertive?

3. How would it feel to express my needs unapologetically?

4. What are three things I can do to support myself before a hard conversation?

5. How can I practice embodying confidence and clarity in small ways each day?

Final Thoughts: Owning Your Voice with Compassion

Assertiveness is a practice, not a perfect performance. Each time you express yourself honestly with integrity, you strengthen your connection to your truth and yourself. The more you practice embodied assertiveness – through grounding, emotional regulation, and intentional communication – the more natural it becomes. 

Remember, just like anyone else, you deserve to be heard, to take up space, and you deserve relationships that honor the fully, authentic expression of who you are. 

And…If you’re ready to dive deeper into your assertiveness  journey, we are here for you! We are holistic therapists in Colorado with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you unraveling the patterns that are holding you back from using your voice. Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP! 

Find Your Voice: Somatic Tools for Assertiveness and Empowerment

Part 1: Understanding the Barriers to Speaking Up – How Your Body Holds the Story

As holistic therapists in Colorado, we often hear women express frustration about their struggles with assertiveness. And we want you to know you’re not alone. At Brave Embodiment Counseling we provide therapy for women, by women, so many of us therapists also have stories, just like yours, about staying silent in moments when we desperately wanted to speak up. We want you to know that assertiveness struggles aren’t a sign of weakness or failure. They are rooted in deeper stories held by the body and shaped by our experiences, culture, and nervous systems. We also want you to know that it is possible to find your voice and overcome your assertiveness struggles. 

In this blog, we’ll explore some of the most common barriers to speaking up, why these patterns often affect women, and how the mind-body connection can shed light on this challenge. We’ll also end with a simple somatic awareness exercise to help you begin rewriting your body’s story. 

1. Cultural Conditioning: The Social Script to Stay Small

From an early age, many women are subtly (and not-so-subtly) conditioned to prioritize harmony over conflict and others’ needs over their own. Phrases like “be nice”, “don’t be so bossy”, and “don’t be so sensitive” reinforce a belief that assertiveness is unwelcome or unsafe. And that expressing your truth, your emotions and your needs is unwanted. 

Over time, these messages shape how we show up in the world. The nervous system learns to associate speaking up with potential rejection, disapproval, or disconnection which can activate a stress response. Your heart races, your voice shakes, or you freeze entirely. These are not flaws – they’re your body trying to keep you safe within the boundaries of the social script you were taught. 

2. Trauma and the Body’s Protective Mechanisms

For many women, past trauma – whether from a specific event or ongoing oppression and micro-agressions – can deeply impact their ability to advocate for themselves. Trauma, particularly if it involves a history of not being heard or valued, can cause the body to enter survival mode of fight, flight, freeze, fawn or flop when needing to speak up or be assertive. 

For example, if speaking up in the past led to punishment, emotional harm, or physical harm, your nervous system may learn to shut down your voice as a way to avoid danger. Even years later, that response can remain locked in the body, causing you to feel physically unable to say what you need or want (i.e. tightness in the chest, constriction in the throat, clenched jaw, etc.).

3. Fear of Rejection or Conflict

The human nervous system is wired for connection – it’s how we’ve survived as a species. This means that rejection, perceived or real, can feel deeply threatening to our sense for safety and belonging. 

For women especially, the fear of being labeled as “too much” or “too difficult” can loom large. Even when the logical part of your brain knows it’s okay to ask for what you need, your body may respond as if rejection is a life-or-death threat. Sweaty palms, a racing heart, or a lump in the throat are all signs that your body is bracing for potential disconnection. 

4. The Nervous System: A Key Player in Assertiveness

The nervous system plays a central role in your ability to speak up. When you perceive a situation as safe, your parasympathetic nervous system (rest-and-digest mode) allows you to access calm, clear thinking. But if your nervous system detects a threat – whether physical or emotional – it can shift into survival mode, making it much harder to assert yourself. 

For example, you might find your throat tightening (a sign of the freeze response) or feel an overwhelming urge to stay quiet (a fawn response). These reactions aren’t “just in your head”. They are physiological responses your body has learned to keep you safe. Understanding this connection is a powerful step toward reclaiming your voice. 

A Somatic Awareness Exercise to Support Assertiveness

Reconnecting with your body and learning how to work its stress responses is key to overcoming barriers to assertiveness. This simple exercise can help you begin building awareness of how your body reacts in moments requiring you to speak up.

The Ground-and-Sense Exercise

1. Find a Quiet Space: Sit in a comfortable position with your feet flat on the ground. Close your eyes if it feels okay, if not, just hold a soft downward gaze 2-3 feet in front of you. 

2. Notice Your Breath: Take a few slow, deep breaths. Feel your belly rise and fall.

3. Recall a Recent Situation: Let your mind go and allow it bring you a time when you wanted to speak up but struggled. Watch this memory through like a little mental movie in your mind’s eye from beginning to end. Do your best to observe with gentleness and curiosity.

4. Scan Your Body: As you watch this memory, where do you feel tension or discomfort in your body? Perhaps your chest feels tight, your stomach churns, or your throat feels blocked.

5. Stay Curious: Instead of judging the sensation, bring curiosity to it. What might this part of your body be trying to communicate? What message does it have for you?

6. Anchor in Safety: Press your feet into the ground or place a hand on your heart. Remind yourself, “In this moment, I am safe.”

By practicing this exercise regularly, you can begin to recognize your body’s signals and learn to work with them instead of against them. For more information and guidance on how to work with your body’s stress responses stay tuned in this blog series or reach out to us! 

Closing Thoughts

Speaking up is not just a mental decision – it’s a whole-body experience, so try not to be too hard on yourself, you are not choosing to have your body go into protective mode. While you know what you need and want to do in various situations, your nervous system has not yet learned that you’ll be safe if you do so. When we understand the cultural, emotional, and physiological factors at play, we can approach the challenge of assertiveness with compassion and curiosity. Your voice matters, and so does the process of reclaiming it. 

If you’re ready to dive deeper into this journey, consider working with us! We are holistic therapists in Colorado with training in somatic and creative methods which can effectively support you unraveling the patterns that are holding you back from using your voice. You, just as much as anyone else, deserve to speak your truth with confidence! Just click the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

Energy and Boundaries Series: Protect, Restore, and Thrive. Part 3: “Replenishing Your Energy: Restorative Practices for Daily Life”

Part 3: “Replenishing Your Energy: Restorative Practices for Daily Life”

As holistic therapists, we’ve seen firsthand (not only in the clients we work with but also in ourselves) how the demands of modern life can leave us feeling drained, scattered, and disconnected from ourselves. True restoration goes beyond just taking a vacation, getting enough sleep or changing jobs – it’s about cultivating practices that nourish the body, mind, and spirit. In this blog, we will explore restorative approaches and daily practices that can help you replenish your energy on a deeper level. Practices that address the emotional, physical, and spiritual toll that boundary struggles have taken on you. Whether you’re navigating stress, low energy, or emotional overwhelm, these tools will empower you to create a sustainable rhythm of renewal, so you can feel grounded, vibrant, and fully present in your daily life. Let’s discover what it means to truly restore from the inside out.

• Understand Your Energy Drains

When you live without clear boundaries, your nervous system often operates in a state of hypervigilance. This constant state of “giving” depletes your energy reserves, leaving you emotionally, physically and spiritually exhausted. Healing begins with self-awareness, acknowledging where you’ve been overextending and recognizing that it’s okay to prioritize yourself. 

• Practice Grounding Rituals

Unresolved pain, psychological wounds and trauma causes disembodiment which grounding practices can help with. Grounding brings you back to the present moment and helps you feel anchored in your own energy. 

• Morning Grounding Exercise: Try starting your day with a physical grounding practice of your choice. This could be something simple like starting your day by getting into and feeling your body via some stretching, or it might be listening to guided meditation focused on physical grounding, or perhaps it’s attending a yoga class before heading into the rest of your day.

• Breathwork:Try box breathing (inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 4, exhaling for 4, holding for 4 - repeat for 1-5 minutes) to balance your nervous system and reset your mind. 

• Create an Energetic Boundary Practice

Boundaries aren’t just verbal; they’re energetic, too. Learn to tune into and feel your own energy, and when needed, use visualization and body-based tools to protect your energy.

• In the Moment: Connect your spine to the back the chair your sitting on (literally lean back), imagine a glass wall or window screen in front of you that filters out the yuck and lets in the goodness, hold a pillow in front of you or cross your arms to protect your vulnerable, tender front body 

• Daily Visualization: Imagine a golden bubble of light surrounding you, acting as a shield against draining energies . Set the intention or repeat the mantra: “I choose to give from overflow, not depletion.”

• Guided Meditation: Search for and find a recording of an energy clearing meditation and use this daily or as needed. 

• Cultivate Restorative Movement

Your body holds the tension and stress of unmet needs and overriding boundaries. Gentle, somatic practices can help release this energy. It is also incredibly healing to find a daily embodiment practice where the aim of the movement is to connect to your body, be present with yourself and move in a way that feels good or releasing. 

• Yoga for Boundaries: Focus on heart-opening poses (like child’s pose, puppy pose, fish, camel pose) to release guilt, and grounding poses (like tree, mountain, table top) to build inner stability. 

• Somatic Shaking: Stand with your feet hip-width apart, shake your arms, legs, and torso gently for 2-3 minutes. This practice helps discharge pent up stress. 

• Supportive Connection- Prioritize and spend your time in relationships that are affirming, safe and supportive. You’ll be able to notice these relationships because you will feel understood, safe to share openly, uplifted and possibly even energized afterwards. 

• Compassionate Boundary Setting - These affirming relationships are often the best place to start practicing compassionate boundary setting. Remember, boundaries don’t have to be harsh. For example, you can say, “I’d love to help, but I’m at capacity right now,” or “I need some time to recharge.”

• Declutter Your Life - Clear out physical clutter and say goodbye to obligations or relationships that no longer serve you.

• Prioritize Emotional Processing

When you’ve been people-pleasing for years and not setting boundaries, repressed emotions – anger, sadness, resentment – build up. These emotions are the messengers of your needs that got dismissed, overridden and ignored. It’s important to recognize that the exhaustion you’re experiencing doesn’t only stem from over-extending and over-giving, it also stems from years of emotional and psychological needs going unmet. Finally, being present to receive the needs these messengers (emotions) were trying to bring you and then releasing these emotions by meeting your emotional and psychological needs is crucial for healing. 

• Therapy or Coaching: Work with a therapist or coach to reconnect and re-embody so you are there to receive your emotions. Heal unresolved wounds and shift protective patterns that keep you stuck in a cycle of depletion.

• Journaling: This doesn’t have to be polished or professional, bullet points are completely okay – make it as easy as possible for yourself! Getting into a weekly or daily practice of tuning into yourself and writing down what you are thinking and feeling is a powerful way to build connection with yourself, understand yourself better and therefore give yourself opportunities to receive and meet your needs.

• Nourish Your Body

Boundary struggles often leave us disconnected from self-care. Replenish your energy by…

• Nutrition & Hydration: No, not with weight loss as the focus but with true nourishment as the focus – think vitamins, minerals, nutrients, drink roughly half your body weight in ounces of water, electrolytes, etc.

• Nature Connection: Spending time in and connection with nature is another great way to nourish your mind, body and spirit because humans are part of nature and spending time in it can help reconnect you to your own rhythms. 

• Body Work: This depletion is not just taking place emotionally and mentally. Your body is the vessel through which you experience life, so tending to your body is key in healing from the toll boundary struggles have taken on you. Take regular warm showers or baths, prioritize spending your money on massages, craniosacral therapy, reiki, acupuncture and/or aromatherapy.

• Rest

Rest is essential after living in overdrive for decades. Remember, rest is not just about sleep; it’s about international stillness and restoration so the nervous system can relax back to a balanced, homeostatic state for extended periods of time. 

• Daily Mini-Retreat: Dedicate 10-15 minutes to quiet time/alone time, free from screens or interruptions. This could be meditation, sitting with a cup of tea, or simply staring out a window. 

• Evening Ritual: Create a calming bedtime routine that you practice every evening around the same time. This routine will signal to your brain and body that it’s time to wind down, let go and sleep. 

• Seek Support

Healing from boundary struggles often requires a supportive community or therapist who can guide you in reprogramming these patterns.

• Therapeutic Support:  While traditional talk therapy has its purpose, many people often need more experiential forms of therapy to help them process the deeper wounds that contributed to boundary challenges which then led to deep depletion or burnout. Modalities like EMDR, somatic psychotherapy, IFS and art therapy are supportive methods to healing the nervous system and releasing old, deeply ingrained patterns of behavior. 

• Community: Because we are social beings, healing also needs to happen within a collective atmosphere. While individual healing is great, you’ll notice that your inner system also needs to experience safety and support in a group. Join groups or workshops focused on healthy communication, connection and healing. 

• Celebrate Your Wins

Each step toward setting and maintaining boundaries is an act of self-love. Celebrate small wins, like saying “no” to something you didn’t want to do or carving out 30 minutes for yourself. Even though this might seem silly or childish to a part of you, celebrating the wins along the way can add to your motivation to keep going and help you get in touch with the progress you’re making which feels energizing. 

• Reflect and Reassess

Healing isn’t linear. There will be some steps forward, then some to the side, perhaps a couple backwards, followed by many steps forward, followed by a much needed break. As you begin to replenish your energy, take time to reflect on how you feel and adjust your practices as needed. What was once needed at one point in your healing and growth journey, may no longer be needed at this point in your healing and growth journey. Remember, boundaries are living, breathing things – they evolve as you do. 

A Final Word

Replenishing your energy after decades of boundary struggles is a journey of self-discovery, reclamation and self-love. It’s a commitment to showing up for yourself, recognizing your limits, and embracing practices that align with your whole being – body, mind, and spirit. The journey to restoration is deeply personal, but it’s also universal in its importance. By weaving these restorative practices into your life, you are not only healing from exhaustion but also rebuilding your energy reserves, establishing stronger, healthier boundaries, which allows you to cultivate a sustainable foundation for vitality, joy, and resilience. 

So, yes, it really is possible to thrive again as an adult. Remember, your energy is your most precious resource – honor it, protect it, and let it guide you toward a life of balance and fulfillment.

Energy and Boundaries Series: Protect, Restore, and Thrive. Part 2: “Setting Boundaries with Compassion and Clarity”

Part 2: “Setting Boundaries with Compassion and Clarity”

As holistic therapists, we’ve seen time and time again how setting boundaries transforms lives.

We’ve also seen time and again just how many of us struggle with boundaries to the point of believing we are “bad at boundaries”. 

If that’s you, that’s okay and you are not alone. There are many factors that contribute to struggling with boundaries. Once you can build some insight into why boundaries are such a struggle for you, it’s easier to have compassion for yourself instead of judging and shaming yourself for being “bad at boundaries”. 

In this blog we will define what boundaries are and common myths about boundaries, why many of us tend to struggle to set and maintain boundaries, why boundaries are essential for wellness and how to set boundaries with compassion and clarity. 

So, What Are Boundaries?

Boundaries are more than just limits – they’re essential tools for protecting our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Boundaries are simply what’s okay with you and what’s not okay with you. Boundaries are something we set with ourselves and with others. They define where we end and others begin – the point at which you can love yourself and others simultaneously – allowing us to show up authentically in our relationships while honoring our own needs. 

Boundaries are what YOU will do, not what you ask others to do. Even though some of our boundaries may start with a request from someone else, we ultimately do not have control over what that other person will choose to do. They may choose to listen to you and respect your request, or, they may not. This is why it is crucial to understand that boundaries are not what you ask others to do, boundaries are what you will do. 

Examples:

• You: “Please stop talking about politics, let’s talk about something else.”

• Other Person: “Ok yeah, no problem” 

Or….

• You: “Please stop talking about politics, let’s talk about something else.”

• Other Person: (mocking tone) “Uh oh…someone’s getting uncomfortable because they know they’re wrong!” (continues talking about politics)

Or…

• You: “If you continue to talk about politics, I am going to go for a walk.”

• Other Person: (rolls their eyes, continues talking about politics)

• You: (gets up and goes for a walk protecting your energy and emotional safety)

Common Myths About Boundaries

A major factor contributing to the boundary-setting struggle is the widespread belief in common myths about boundaries, which create confusion and guilt. By understanding the truths behind these misconceptions, you can approach boundary-setting with more confidence and clarity. Here are five common myths about boundaries and why they’re not true:

• Myth: “Setting boundaries is selfish.”

• Truth: Boundaries are not about being selfish but about self-care and respecting your own limits. They help protect you so you can meet your needs and feel safe, which allows you to show up more fully in your own life and for others.

• Myth: “Boundaries push people away.” 

• Truth: Boundaries often strengthen relationships because they promote clarity, trust, and mutual respect. People who value you will respect your limits, and it’s often helpful for those you’re in relationships to know with clarity what’s okay with you and what isn’t, instead of having to guess.

• Myth: “You only need to set boundaries with toxic people.”

• Truth: Boundaries are essential in all relationships, not just with challenging individuals. They help you maintain balance and ensure your needs are met even in healthy relationships.

• Myth: “Once you set a boundary, it’s permanent.”

• Truth:Boundaries can and should evolve as circumstances, relationships, and personal needs change. Flexibility is a sign of healthy boundary-setting. 

• Myth: “If someone gets upset, your boundary is wrong.”

• Truth: People may resist boundaries at first, especially if they’ve benefitted from you not having them. Others’ reactions don’t determine the validity of your boundaries. 

Why We Struggle to Set Boundaries

Boundary-setting is a vital skill for emotional health and overall wellness, yet many people find it deeply uncomfortable or even impossible. From a holistic perspective, these struggles are often rooted in a combination of personal history, societal influences, and cultural conditioning. Understanding these origins can be a powerful first step in reclaiming your right to set boundaries.

1. Attachment Wounding - Early attachment patterns shape how we relate to others and our own selves throughout life. If you grew up in an environment where your emotional needs were dismissed, or were made to feel responsible for others’ feelings, you may have learned that setting boundaries risks rejection or disconnection. This fear can persist due to these experiences happening early on and shaping your neural pathways, making it challenging to assert your needs as an adult.

2. Past Trauma - Trauma disrupts your sense of safety and can make you hyperaware of others’ needs while neglecting your own. People-pleasing or avoiding conflict may become survival strategies, reinforcing the belief that boundaries lead to danger or abandonment. 

3. Cultural Conditioning - Growing up in a patriarchal culture often teaches people that it’s not okay to express needs and set boundaries. In patriarchal cultures women get taught that their value lies in selflessness and accommodation, men get taught to be the protector and provider which often means overriding their own needs and boundaries,, and folks that don’t identify within the gender binary get taught that they are wrong, bad, gross, shouldn’t exist etc. and are therefore undeserving of having needs and boundaries. Saying “no” or expressing limits may feel like defiance against deeply ingrained norms, leading to guilt, shame or being ostracized. 

4. Family Dynamics - If you grew up in a family where boundaries were either rigid and punitive or entirely absent, you may struggle to identify and enforce healthy limits. Enmeshed family systems, where individual needs are sacrificed for the group, can also erode a sense of autonomy. 

5. Fear of Conflict - Many people associate boundaries with confrontation, and if conflict was unsafe or unresolved in your past, you may avoid it at all costs. This can lead to overextending yourself or allowing others to cross your limits. 

6. Lack of Role Models - Without examples of health boundary-setting, it’s difficult to develop this skill. Many people enter adulthood with no framework for recognizing, communicating, or maintaining their own limits. 

This is not an exhaustive list of root causes, but some common ones, and by exploring your own root causes you can begin to dismantle the internal and external barriers to setting boundaries. Holistic approaches like mindfulness, somatic practices, and inner child work can help you reconnect with your needs and reclaim your sense of agency. Setting boundaries is not about creating walls – it’s about building pathways to deeper, healthier connections with yourself and others. 

Why Boundaries Are Essential for Wellness

1. Preserve Energy - Without boundaries, we risk pouring our energy into people or situations that deplete us, leaving little left for ourselves. Healthy boundaries help us conserve our resources for what truly matters. 

2. Enhance Emotional Health - Boundaries reduce stress, resentment, and burnout by creating clear expectations in relationships. They also foster self-respect and confidence. 

3. Improve Physical Health - Chronic stress from poor boundaries can manifest as physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches, or weakened immunity. By reducing stress, boundaries support overall physical well-being. 

4. Strengthen Relationships - Clear boundaries create healthier dynamics by fostering mutual respect and understanding. They also help us navigate conflict more effectively. 

How to Set Boundaries with Compassion and Clarity

Setting boundaries can feel daunting, considering the number of experiences most of us have had with not being allowed to or shown how to set boundaries, but it doesn’t have to remain daunting. Here’s a step by step guide:

• Identify Your Needs

• Reflect on areas where you feel drained, overwhelmed, or resentful. These feelings often signal the need for a boundary.

• Ask yourself: What do I need to feel safe, respected, or supported in this situation?

• Get Clear on Your Limits

• Decide what’s okay and what’s not. For example, you might limit work emails after a certain hour or decline last-minute requests for help. 

• Be honest with yourself about your capacity and values. 

• **Due to past trauma, attachment injuries and internalized patriarchy many people in our society become disembodied and therefore disconnected from their core self. When this happens it can be quite difficult to know and sense what your actual capacity is, therefore before you can get clear on your limits you may need to do some healing work that involves reconnecting yourself and body.

• Choose Compassionate Language

• Use “I” statements to express your needs without blaming others. 

• Example: Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try, “I feel unheard when I don’t have a chance to share my perspective” 

• Practice phrasing that is firm, yet kind

• Examples: “I need time to think about that before I commit” or, “I’d love to help, but I don’t have the capacity right now.” 

• Communicate Clearly and Calmly

• Pick the right time to have the conversation – ideally, when both parties are calm and open. 

• Be direct but gentle. Avoid over-explaining or apologizing excessively. 

• Hold Your Ground with Love

• Some people may push back or test your boundaries, especially if they’re used to you being overly accommodating. 

• Stay firm while remaining compassionate:

• Example: “I understand this is frustrating, but this boundary is important for my well-being.”

• Reinforce Your Boundaries

• Consistency is key. Follow through with your limits to show others that you mean what you say. Not to mention, people forget. It’s normal to have to communicate your boundaries multiple times to others. 

• However, if someone repeatedly disregards your boundaries after you’ve communicated them multiple times, it may be necessary to reassess the relationship. Reassessing might mean you need to have more distance in this relationship or perhaps the relationship needs to end. 

• Practice Self-Compassion

• Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable, especially at first. Be kind to yourself as you navigate this process.

• It’s okay to start practicing in small, low-risk situations (like sending your drink back at a coffee shop that has a guarantee to get it right) and work your way up to setting boundaries within your familial or more challenging relationships. 

Final Thoughts

When you set boundaries, you’re not just protecting yourself – you’re modeling self-respect and healthy dynamics for others. Over time, this creates a ripple effect that improves not only your well-being but also your relationships and community. 

Setting boundaries is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself and others. It’s a practice rooted in self-awareness, compassion, and courage. As you begin setting boundaries, remember: your well-being, just as much as anyone else’s, is worth protecting.

If you’d like some compassionate, highly-skilled support in uncovering the roots of your boundary-struggles, or guidance on how to set loving boundaries with yourself and others — we got you! Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner or our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch with you ASAP!

Energy and Boundaries Series: Protect, Restore, and Thrive. Part 1: “Energy Drainers: Recognizing What’s Draining Your Emotional Reserves”

Part 1: “Energy Drainers: Recognizing What’s Draining Your Emotional Reserves”

Do you feel tired all the time?

Have you been convinced that’s just what adulthood is? 

If so, you are NOT alone. 

The reality is, there are MANY factors that contribute to feeling drained, tired all the time and/or chronic fatigue. 

As holistic therapists, we often see people feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or stuck, unable to pinpoint why they’re running on empty. While physical fatigue can be easy to recognize, emotional and energetic exhaustion often flies under the radar until it takes a toll on our relationships, mental health, and our physical well-being. Often, emotional and energetic exhaustion gets missed until it has to manifest physically in our bodies – symptoms like headaches, digestive issues, TMJ, weakened immune system, adrenal fatigue, autoimmune conditions – in order to get our attention. 

This silent depletion often stems from “energy drainers” – people, situations, habits, unresolved emotional wounding, oppressive societal systems – that unconsciously zap our emotional and energetic reserves. 

So, no. Being an adult doesn’t have to mean feeling drained all the time, even though our culture has convinced us that this is normal. Here’s the truth: instead of feeling tired all the time, you could be thriving! 

Learning to recognize these drainers and setting loving but firm boundaries is essential for preserving your energy and thriving in life vs. just getting by.  

What Are Energy Drainers?

Energy drainers are anything that pull from your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual reserves without replenishing them. They often leave you feeling tired, irritable, or resentful. These can show up in various forms: 

• Relationships

• People who consistently take without giving – chronic complainers, people with negative mindsets, folks who are chronically dissatisfied, or those who don’t respect your boundaries

• One-sided dynamics that leave you feeling unheard or undervalued

• Emotionally immature people who don’t have the self-awareness or skills to regulate and take responsibility for their own emotions and the trajectory of their lives. 

• Folks that are chronically dysregulated, also referred to in our society as “dramatic”– these folks tend to always have some sort of conflict, chaos, or crisis going on and pull you into their issues unnecessarily

• People with little to no emotional availability so they are unable to provide emotional connection or support when you need it 

• Environments

• Cluttered spaces or chaotic settings that create mental noise

• Workplaces or communities that stifle your authenticity or creativity (micromanaging supervisors, unclear expectations, lack of appreciation, etc.)

• Living in and navigating an oppressive, patriarchal society (*cough* all of us are doing this *cough*)

• Noisy, poorly lit, overly crowded spaces with stale or polluted air 

• Overly competitive settings where you feel constantly compared to others or pressured to perform

• Spaces that are disconnected from nature like some urban spaces devoid of greenery, fresh air or natural beauty 

• Behaviors/Habits/Tendencies

• Overcommitting yourself – saying yes when you want to say no, taking on too many projects or responsibilities without truly having the time, space or energy to put towards these

• Mindless scrolling, overconsumption of media, or other distractions that disconnect you from yourself

• Poor sleep hygiene – inconsistent sleep schedules or lack of quality sleep

• Skipping meals or poor diet – not fueling your body with nutrient dense foods and plenty of water

• Lack of boundaries – allowing others to monopolize your time or emotional energy, or not sticking to the boundaries you set and need for yourself

• Internal Patterns

• Emotional and energetic dysregulation causing over or under activation of your autonomic nervous system therefore zapping your energy. This can look like:

• Negative, critical self-talk 

• Perfectionism and overthinking

• People-pleasing

• Avoidance or shutting down

• Anxiety and depression

• Passive aggression

• Venting, blaming self or others

• Getting flooded by your emotions, unable to turn down the volume on them or unable to create healthy separation from them

• Unresolved emotional wounds that keep you stuck in these old patterns – these emotional wounds typically stem from past attachment injuries, stressful and painful experiences, and trauma

The Importance of Boundaries

Metaphorically speaking, boundaries are the energetic fences that protect your inner garden. Without them, even the most grounded person can feel uprooted by the demands of others or their environment. 

Healthy boundaries allow you to: 

• Conserve your energy for what truly matters to you

• Create space for self-care and personal growth

• Cultivate healthy relationships that nourish rather than deplete you

How to Identify Your Energy Drainers:

1. Body - Your body is often the first to alert you when something isn’t right. Pay attention to…

1. Tension or discomfort: Shallow/shaky breathing, tightness in your chest, clenched jaw, tension in the eyebrows and shoulders, fatigue, headache, etc.

2. Sleep Disturbances: Are certain habits or stressors affecting your sleep quality?

3. Fatigue Patterns: Notice when you feel unusually sluggish. Is it after certain foods? Activities? Interactions? 

2. Emotion - Notice how you feel after interactions or activities. Do you feel lighter and more uplifted, or drained and resentful?

1. Mood shifts: Observe if certain interactions, tasks or activities leave you feeling irritable, anxious, or overwhelmed

2. Lack of enthusiasm: Tasks, environments, or people that consistently feel dull or demotivating might be draining your energy.

3. Unease or dread: Pay attention to situations that evoke the urge to avoid it or fill your inner system with unease. 

3. Time and Energy Tracking - Keep a log of how you feel before and after events, tasks, conversations, or time spent with others. Patterns will start to emerge that point to your biggest energy drainers. 

1. Journaling: Keep a daily log of how you feel throughout the day and note patterns of feeling drained.

2. Energy audit: Create a list of activities, people, and commitments and mark them as energy-giving or energy-draining based on your feelings before, during, and after. 

4. Mental and Behavioral - Pay attention to what your head space is like and what behaviors you notice yourself engaging in. 

1. Difficulty focusing: Notice when you find it hard to concentrate or when you feel mentally scattered, especially after spending time with certain people, on certain activities or platforms (ex: social media)

2. Ruminating thoughts: Track situations or triggers that cause you to overthink or replay events in your mind

3. Habits: Are activities like procrastination, scrolling on social media, or skipping meals contributing to giving you energy or draining your energy?

4. Overcommitting: Are you saying “yes” to things out of fear/guilt/obligation, or out of love and genuine interest? 

5. Test by Elimination - After some time spent tuned into your body, emotions, energy and mental experiences, take a break from a specific habit, environment, or relationship for a set period of time. See what happens to your energy during and after this break. 

Closing Thoughts 

As holistic therapists we hold that your energy is your most precious resource. Training it with the same care you’d give your physical health is a transformative act of self-love. By recognizing and addressing energy drainers, you create space for joy, growth, and meaningful connection. 

Remember, where your attention goes your energy flows but you have the power to decide where your attention goes. Choose wisely, and you’ll find yourself with more than enough to thrive. 

If you’ve tried identifying your energy drainers before but got stuck, or, if you’d like some compassionate, objective support and guidance in this process - we got you! Just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner or our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch with you ASAP!

Easing into the New Year

Hello Brave Community! 

♡ Lovely to meet you here in 2025 ♡

The holidays are behind us – some people are thinking, “thank goodness!” and are feeling relieved, while others may be feeling the holiday come down that follows joyous, celebratory times. Whatever you’re feeling following the holidays, it’s valid. 

As we settle into January, many of us may feel a mix of exhaustion and hope. While the new calendar year can bring an energy of excitement, it’s important to honor how you are feeling right now – especially in the heart of winter. 

The winter season encourages rest, reflection, and preservation, not necessarily big leaps or new beginnings. We are smack dab in the middle of the season of dormancy and restoration, so if setting goals or intentions feels overwhelming, give yourself permission to wait. 

As the days lengthen and energy naturally shifts in the spring, you may find that to be the perfect time to embrace growth and new directions. Even though as humans we have common, connecting threads, it’s important to remember our individual differences and just because it’s a new calendar year doesn’t automatically mean you’ll feel rested and restored and ready to set goals.

For now, let’s focus on nurturing ourselves following the holidays and stepping into the year with intention and gentleness. 

Section 2: Body & Soul Goals for 2025

Instead of starting the year with an exhaustive list of intellectual goals that you’re not actually connected to, we encourage you to consider tuning into your body and soul. Body and soul goals are about deep alignment, rather than external achievement. 

When we set goals from an intellectual or analytical place we feel disconnected from... 

• Our bodies

• OurSELVES, and 

• Those goals 

...which fills us with dread instead of curiosity and inspiration. 

You’ll be able to tell you are setting intellectual goals because you will find yourself thinking your way through the process instead of feeling your way through.

Intellectual goals often bring up a lot of yuck and resistance because they focus on what we *think* we should be doing or what we *think* we should want based on messaging and pressures from outside sources. It can be hard to get excited about intellectual goals because we usually aren't deeply connected to them on a soul level. 

When we infuse the goal-setting process with a focus on body and soul, we create a more visceral and heartfelt connection to our aspirations for the year ahead. As humans, the more connected we feel to something the more we want to dedicate our time and energy to it. You'll know you're setting body and soul goals because you'll feel drawn to them...you'll feel a literal inner tug toward whatever it is that is speaking to your soul.

Curious to give body and soul goals a try?! Check out the steps below for a completely different and POWERFUL approach to goal setting.

How to Set Body and Soul Goals:

1. Tune In: Take the time you need to center yourself in your body and notice your breath. Let go of any effort or tension that is not needed right now. 

2. Reflect Sensationally: Instead of analyzing, feel into your experiences of the past year. Pay attention to emotions, sensations, imagery, your felt sense and any visceral reactions that come through your inner system.

3. Body & Soul Goals: Using the feedback from step 2, let your mind go and let it bring intentions or areas of focus for 2025. Do your best to focus on how, whatever comes to you, makes you feel physically and emotionally.

4. Prioritize Joy: Identify goals that bring a sense of joy or fulfillment. Notice how focusing on these areas feels in your body - Do you notice sensations of warmth, inspiration, spaciousness...?

5. Empowering Language: As you start writing down and to putting words to what you're sensing and feeling in your body for your 2025 goals, do your best to use empowering language. Instead of saying "I want to stop filling every minute of my calendar" say, "I want to feel grounded and energized."

6. Movement Check: Now that you have some words written down, stand up, move around, and notice how your body responds. Do these goals feel constricting or expansive? Use the physical feedback to guide your goal-setting (you may need to adjust a few things)

7. Embodied Visualization: Picture yourself reaching your goals. Allow yourself to really feel and be with the energy and emotion in your body as you visualize success. 

8. Dance it Out: We know this one may seem strange, but seriously, give it a try! Literally dance to the rhythm of your goals. Let your body express the energy associated with reaching them.

9. Listen to your Intuition: Trust that gentle, nudging voice in the background. If something feels off or disconnected, reassess whether it truly aligns with your authentic self.

10. Express Gratitude: End your goal setting process by expressing gratitude for your body and the experiences it carries and has carried you through.

And…if you find yourself wanting or needing support in getting clear on and connected to your body and soul goals – we got you! Just email us at info@bravecounseling.com and we will be in touch with you ASAP to set up a free consultation! 

Section 3: Reintroducing Our Therapy Practice

You may be someone who has been part of our Brave Community for a while now, or, you may be new. Either way, welcome! We are seriously SO  glad that you’re here!!

We are Brave Embodiment Counseling, a small group practice made up of 15 therapists based out of Denver, CO. Kim Massale, the founder and owner of Brave Embodiment Counseling, opened the practice in 2018 with a dream of supporting the women of Denver in stepping more fully into their power and magic.

6 + years later, the core of our mission is the same: We support and guide the people of Colorado, using creative and powerful methodologies, to move beyond just insight into tangible change and a life with more ease and energy.

We are trained in the most cutting edge + alternative, trauma and attachment informed techniques to support you in accelerating your healing + growth process, so you don’t waste your precious time, money or energy.

We specialize in helping folks with…

• Unresolved trauma

• Attachment wounds

• Dating Support

• Internalized patriarchy

• Societal programming

• Religious trauma

In other words, we empower people to heal and break free from the limiting beliefs that are keeping them stuck and feeling small.

Currently, we offer virtual services that include:

• Individual Therapy (DBT, CBT, ACT, Art Therapy, EMDR, IFS, Inner Child Healing, Parts Work, Somatic Psychotherapy)

• Couples Therapy 

• Spiritual Guidance

• Clinical Supervision

• Private Practice Building

Rates & Insurance:

We currently accept… 

• Denver County (CO Access) Medicaid 

• Out of pocket/private pay

We do not participate or submit claims for other types of insurance aside from Medicaid. We do not accept Medicare. 

Each therapist has a set out-of-pocket, private pay rate which is listed on their individual bio page on our website. 

You may be able to obtain insurance reimbursement for sessions if you have an insurance plan that has out-of-network benefits. See our website for instructions on how to check and see if you have out-of-network benefits with your insurance company. 

Final Thoughts:

Simply put, we love you and we want you to have your dream life because you deserve it, and we understand the powerful ripple effect of people who are in love with their lives.

January is one of the busiest times of the year for therapy because many people set new years resolutions to “go to therapy” and are eager to begin their healing journeys. If you’ve been thinking about starting therapy, now is the time to act! 

We offer FREE 30-45 minute consultations, but our therapist’s schedules are filling up quickly. Reach out today to secure your spot and take the first step toward feeling supported, heard, and empowered in 2025. 

♡ Warm wishes for a gentle, grounded start to the new year ♡

Building Emotional Resilience: Tools for Managing and Embracing All Emotions

As holistic therapists, we believe that emotions are not just fleeting feelings – they’re powerful messengers from our inner worlds. Rather than pushing them down (suppression), looking the other way (avoidance), or trying to control them, we can actually learn to regulate, manage, and embrace our emotions as part of a balanced life. 

Check out our list below to learn how to approach emotions with compassion and curiosity, while also using somatic and holistic tools to support your overall well-being.

1. Befriend Your Emotions - Instead of getting annoyed with your emotions and attempting to get rid of them as quickly as possible, try thinking of your emotions as messengers and valuable guides. Being immersed in U.S. culture has taught us to label our emotions as “good” or “bad”, but in reality ALL emotions serve a purpose. If we can learn to get curious toward our emotions and let them guide us, they will take us to a need and give us an opportunity to meet that need. When emotions arise, try asking yourself:

1. “What is this emotion telling me?”

2. “What unmet need or value might it be highlighting?”

2. Regulate Emotions Through the Body - Our emotions don’t just exist in our minds, they actually live in our bodies! As previously mentioned, emotions are energy in motion, hence the term e-motion. And this energy we speak of is generated by the autonomic nervous system, so one of the best ways to manage and regulate your emotions is to get good at regulating the energy in your nervous system. Somatic (body-based) tools can help you release and regulate intense emotions. Here are a few somatic tools to try:

1. Grounding Techniques - Stand or sit with your feet connected fully to ground below you (try this outside with bare feet for an even stronger connection), breathe deeply, and imagine roots extending from your feet into the ground below you. This can stabilize your nervous system during moments that feel overwhelming, chaotic or confusing. 

2. Shaking or Movement - Mammals in the animal kingdom naturally shake off stress, and since we too are mammals, we can do the same. The next time you’re feeling over-activated (anxiety, anger, etc.) try shaking out your arms, legs and torso (be sure to get the shaking all the way into your core) for 1-2 minutes to discharge tension and reset.

3. Belly Breathing - Our breath is closely linked to the vagus nerve which has a powerful effect in regulating the autonomic nervous system, so the next time you’re experiencing a fight-or-flight response (anxiety, anger) practice belly breathing. Place your hands on your stomach, inhale deeply (in an easy and gentle way) allowing your belling to expand, then exhale slowly. Do this for 2-5 minutes and notice how you feel afterwards.

4. Re-Orient, Re-Connect & Mobilize - If you notice yourself feeling underactivated (depressed, procrastinating, collapsed) your inner system needs more energy so try helping it out by intentionally adding some energy back into your nervous system. First, sit up, put your feet on the ground and take a look around at your surroundings allowing your head and neck to turn as you look around. Then, reach out and touch different textures and squeeze or pat your body to wake your skin and muscles back up. Last, mobilize your system by intentionally adding some energy back in, starting small at first (wiggling fingers and toes, stretching, creating friction and heat by rubbing your palms together quickly) then allow the movements to expand over time (sing, dance, push into the wall, run). 

3. Mindfulness - Mindfulness is a tool that can help us in many areas of our lives, but in particular with emotion management and regulation. Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment as if your life depended on it (commitment is key!). Simply aim your attention at what you are experiencing inside then allow it to be there without judgement, and without rushing it along or clinging to it. Just see if you can allow it to be there and then allow it move

4. Distress Tolerance - What helps you tolerate discomfort? Building distress tolerance is key to being able to stay present with emotions and presence is crucial for emotional management, regulation and processing. 

5. Practice Self-Compassion - When emotions feel messy or overwhelming, remind yourself that you’re human. Self-compassion can help discharge the intensity of the emotion allowing it to soften just enough so you can stay present with it and allow it move through. Speak to yourself as you would a dear friend:

1. “I’m not doing anything wrong by feeling what I’m feeling, it’s just what’s happening. It’s okay to feel this way, it’s allowed.”

2. “I am doing the best I can right now, with the information I have”

3. “This is really hard right now. I am really struggling. May I be kind to myself in these moments.” 

6. Interoception & Proprioception - Interoception is the ability to sense and interpret internal bodily signals such as heartbeat and breath. It helps you identify how emotions manifest physically, like feeling a tight chest when you’re anxious or butterflies in your stomach when excited. Proprioception is the sense of your body’s position and movement in space. It helps you stay grounded and connected to the present moment, providing a physical anchor during emotional intensity. Holistic, somatic therapy and yoga are great ways to further develop your interoceptive and proprioceptive abilities which ultimately fosters a deeper mind-body connection, improving emotional resilience and self-regulation.

7. Embrace the Pause - When emotions surge, it’s tempting to react immediately because they can come with so much energy. Instead, practice pausing. Take 3 deep breaths and remind yourself: “I have the space to respond with intention.” This simple act can shift emotional reactions to mindful responses. 

8. Safe Spaces for Expression - Emotions need an outlet. Whether through art, dance, writing, or processing with trusted friends or a therapist. For good mental health and overall well-being, it is crucial to find ways to express what is going on inside for you. This not only prevents emotions from being suppressed but it also helps you learn to embrace your emotions and understand yourself much more deeply. 

9. Lean on Nature - Nature is one of our greatest healers because humans are part of nature (just like other mammals). Spending time outdoors can regulate emotions by connecting us to a sense of grounding and perspective. 

1. Go for a mindful walk in nature paying attention to the sounds, smells, and textures around you.

2. Sit by a body of water and imagine it washing away emotional heaviness.

3. Use natural elements like essential oils (lavender for calm, citrus for upliftment) to engage your senses and anchor your mood. 

4. Drive or hike up to a beautiful view where you can see for miles. Allow the immensity of this view to put you and your daily stressors into perspective. 

10. Visualization - Visualization is a powerful tool to shift your perspective and regulate emotions. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by anger, try imagining it as a storm passing through you, or, if sadness feels heavy, visualize it as a flowing river returning you to a place of peace. Or, when an emotion with some charge comes through, try this: 

1. Sit comfortable and close your eyes (if that feels okay) to block out visual distractions

2. Locate the sensation of the emotion somewhere in your body. There is no right or wrong, it's just what it feels like to you. Maybe the emotion is manifesting your chest, or jaw, or stomach, or eyebrows…feel into and see for yourself.

3. Then, put a color and shape to the emotion where it’s showing up in your body (maybe it feels like a red triangle between your shoulder blades)

4. Once you’ve gotten a sense of the message this emotion carries, then watch it transform into something softer or lighter, symbolizing the release or integration of the emotion.

What would it be like to try some of these tips and tools the next time you’re feeling a lot of emotional charge? Perhaps you’d like to bookmark this blog so you can easily find it during future moments of emotional angst.

Closing Thoughts

Emotions are like waves – they rise, peak, and eventually ebb. By using these holistic tools, you can learn to ride the waves of your emotions with grace rather than being pushed around or swept away. Remember, your emotions are not the enemy; they are your allies, guiding you toward a deeper understanding of yourself and the life you want to create. 

If you’re ready to dive deeper into managing and embracing your emotions, consider working with us! We are a group of compassionate, holistic therapists who can resource with you effective, somatic tools to manage and regulate your emotions. Together, we can create a personalized toolkit to help you thrive emotionally and energetically so you can begin living the life you’ve always imagined for yourself! 

To get in touch with us, just head to the “contact” tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit a contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!

Why We Struggle with Emotions and How to Shift Your Perspective

Have you noticed that actually SO many of us struggle with emotions?

It’s true, it’s not just you! 

We can look around our nation and easily see that we, as a people, are not well. We are more stressed out, strung-out, and burnt-out than ever, and even though we get told that being stressed out is normal, and drug addiction is a disease…those narratives are not true. What is true, is that many of the “ailments” we struggle with as a society stem from our collective inability to be with, regulate and process emotions. 

Believe it or not, emotions are a fundamental part of the human experience, even though so many of us have been taught to view them as obstacles or inconveniences. We have learned to resist, suppress, and even fear them, believing they are too overwhelming, dangerous, or a sign of weakness. But, what if emotions aren’t the enemy? 

What if, instead, emotions are valuable guides, here to teach us, protect us, and connect us with our authentic selves?

In this blog, we will explore why we tend to struggle with emotions, where our resistance toward emotions comes from, and how to reframe emotions as powerful tools for self-understanding and growth.

Why We Struggle with Emotions

Instead of being critical of ourselves for struggling with emotions, let’s be curious about it instead! After all, most of us would agree that we aren’t actively trying to struggle and we’d much prefer to proceed with ease instead, so check out the list below to get a sense of where our collective struggle with emotions stems from:

• Cultural Conditioning: In the United States, cultural norms play a significant role in promoting emotional avoidance, shaping behaviors and attitudes from childhood through adulthood. Unfortunately, emotional avoidance is linked to many mental health struggles due to very normal and naturally occurring human emotions going unprocessed and needs going unmet. Here are some common societal norms that encourage emotional avoidance:

1. Stoicism and Independence - American culture values stoicism and self-reliance, emphasizing the importance of handling problems on your own without showing vulnerability.

2. Productivity and Success - There’s a strong focus on productivity and achieving success in U.S. culture, which leads to the perception that emotions are distractions that need to be managed or hidden to maintain efficiency. 

3. “Good Vibes Only” - There’s an emphasis on positivity and optimism which discourages the open expression of negative emotions and a tendency to downplay or avoid discussing negative feelings.

4. Privacy and Personal Space - There’s value placed on privacy and individualism which leads to the avoidance of deep emotional discussions which can be seen as intrusive or inappropriate.

5. Gender Norms - U.S. gender norms dictate that men should be tough and unemotional, while women are expected to manage emotions discreetly to avoid being labeled as overly emotional or hysterical.

6. “Keep Your Cool” - There’s an expectation to always maintain your composure and avoid public displays of emotion which promotes the idea that emotional expression is best kept private. 

It’s important to note that all these cultural norms are deeply rooted in patriarchy. In patriarchal systems, emotions, especially those perceived as vulnerable (sadness, fear, empathy), get categorized as feminine traits when really they are human traits. These American cultural norms reflect a patriarchal system that has historically devalued emotional expression and positioned it as a weakness, particularly when contrasted with traits like rationality, control, and independence, which the patriarchy has claimed as masculine. It’s also important to note, that even though these norms are patriarchal values, they harm people across the gender spectrum, because ALL humans are, by nature, emotional creatures.

An additional prominent root from which emotional struggles and avoidance stem are past relational experiences and fear of pain and discomfort. 

• Past Relational Experiences: Our relationship with emotions is shaped by how our caregivers related to their own emotions and responded to our feelings as children. Take a moment and think back…How do you remember your caregivers relating to their own emotions? What messages do you remember hearing in reaction to your emotions? Many of us grew up in homes where the adults rarely, if ever, expressed their emotions, and, in moments where emotions did get expressed they often came out in a way that was volatile or explosive teaching little observant kiddos that emotions are scary, dangerous and lead to disconnection. In addition, many of our own emotional expressions got reacted to with messages like, “Stop crying!” or “Suck it up” or “Calm down!” Messages like this teach us that certain emotions are unacceptable or burdensome to others. All of these past relational experiences can lead to a lifelong pattern of suppressing or ignoring emotions to maintain harmony, avoid conflict, and maintain connection.

**Again, it’s important to note that many of the ways our caregivers related to their own emotions and reacted to ours were shaped by cultural norms and conditioning which, as previously mentioned, are rooted in patriarchy. 

• Fear of Pain and Discomfort: Our nervous systems essentially operate by interpreting sensory and emotional experiences as either pleasurable (safe and enjoyable) or non-pleasurable (stressful, uncomfortable, or threatening). This binary perspective is rooted in its evolutionary purpose – to help us survive by steering us toward safety and away from danger. Because we are human we will experience a range of emotions and some emotions can feel physically and mentally uncomfortable. Anger might bring tension, fear might tighten the chest, and sadness can feel like a heavy weight. Because our nervous system categorizes experiences as either pleasurable or non-pleasurable, we instinctively avoid feelings that fall into the non-pleasurable category because our brain associates it with threat. In reality, very few of our emotions arise to communicate a true life-or-death situation. It takes co-regulation and brain/nervous system training to discern between real and perceived threats which we “should” be learning how to do in childhood from our caregivers, but unfortunately many of us were raised by emotionally avoidant adults and therefore missed out on gaining these emotional skills and tools. 

Reclaiming Emotional Expression

To experience better mental health and overall well-being it’s important to begin challenging these American cultural norms and dismantling the patriarchal ideas that devalue emotionality. Here are a few ways to begin challenging and dismantling:

• Normalize Vulnerability: Instead of getting uncomfortable and looking for a distraction, try celebrating emotional expression as a human trait. No, it's no longer a weakness or gendered characteristic like we’ve been taught for decades, emotional expression and vulnerability are simply human! 

• Value Emotional Labor: Because of what we’ve been taught about emotions in U.S. society, emotional labor is severely undervalued when really it’s crucial to health and well-being. We need to begin recognizing and compensating emotional care as critical work, particularly in relationships, workplaces, and communities. Without it we are all much worse off physically, socially, emotionally and spiritually. 

• Foster Emotional Literacy: Since American culture is teaching us the opposite of what we truly need to be well and thrive, we need to start taking back our power by getting accurate information out there when it comes to emotions, health and wellness. Teaching emotional awareness and regulation from a young age is crucial to break cycles of suppression and struggle. 

• Center Collective Care: Far too many people feel alone in life. This feeling alone directly impacts mental and well-being because as a species we are designed to connect and be part of a collective. We need to find ways to shift our focus away from individualism (that doesn’t mean you have to completely let go of personal competency or independence) and focus our efforts on building healthy interdependence, where mutual emotional support is given and valued. 

Closing Thoughts

In a culture like ours in the United States, where emotional expression is often minimized, dismissed, or labeled as weakness, it’s no wonder so many of us struggle to navigate our feelings. Yet reclaiming our ability to feel and express emotions is not just an act of personal healing – it’s a cultural shift toward authenticity and connection. By shifting our perspective to view emotions as allies rather than adversaries, we take back the power to fully experience and process life and in doing so we gain and experience more freedom than ever before! Embracing our emotional selves allows us to break free from the constraints of emotional suppression, fostering deeper relationships, greater self-awareness, and a healthier society where vulnerability is seen as a strength. It’s time to redefine emotional expression as a vital part of being human, not something to fear or avoid.

We got you. Just head to the contact tab in the upper right-hand corner of our website, submit your contact form and we will be in touch ASAP!