How to Know If Your Therapist Is a Good Fit for You
Starting therapy is an important step, and finding the right therapist can make a big difference in how helpful the process feels. Many people wonder after the first few sessions, “Is this the right therapist for me?” That’s a healthy and reasonable question to ask.
Therapy works best when you feel comfortable, respected, and understood. While no therapist is the perfect match for everyone, there are some clear signs that can help you recognize whether the fit is good.
The Most Important Factor: Feeling Understood
One of the strongest indicators of a good fit is whether you feel heard. A therapist doesn’t need to have identical life experiences to understand you, but you should feel that they are genuinely listening and trying to see things from your perspective.
After a session, ask yourself:
Did I feel listened to?
Did my therapist seem interested and engaged?
Did I feel safe sharing what was on my mind?
You don’t need to feel completely comfortable right away, but you should feel respected and taken seriously.
You Feel Comfortable Being Honest
A good therapist creates an environment where you can be honest—even when talking about difficult or uncomfortable topics. This doesn’t mean therapy always feels easy, but it does mean you don’t feel judged or criticized.
If you find yourself holding back because you feel embarrassed or worried about how your therapist will react, it may be worth talking about those feelings directly in session. Often, discussing this openly can improve the relationship.
The Therapist Explains Things Clearly
Therapy shouldn’t feel mysterious or confusing. A good therapist will help you understand:
What you’re working on
Why certain approaches are being used
What progress may look like
You should feel comfortable asking questions about the process, and your therapist should welcome those questions.
You Notice Small Changes Over Time
Progress in therapy is often gradual. It may show up as:
Feeling a little more hopeful
Understanding your reactions better
Handling stress slightly more effectively
Feeling less alone with your problems
These changes can be subtle at first, but they are meaningful signs that therapy is helping.
It’s Okay If the First Session Feels Awkward
Many people worry that an awkward first session means the therapist isn’t a good fit. In reality, it takes time to build trust. The first one or two sessions are often about getting to know each other and may feel a bit formal or uncertain.
It can help to give the process a few sessions before making a decision, unless something clearly feels uncomfortable or off.
Signs a Therapist May Not Be the Right Fit
Sometimes, it becomes clear that a therapist isn’t the best match. Possible signs include:
You feel consistently misunderstood
You feel judged or dismissed
The therapist talks much more than they listen
Sessions feel unstructured or unhelpful over time
You leave sessions feeling worse without understanding why
If this happens, it’s okay to talk about your concerns with your therapist. Good therapists are open to feedback and may adjust their approach or help you find someone who is a better match.
You Are Allowed to Change Therapists
Some people feel guilty about switching therapists, but therapy is a service designed to support you. Finding the right fit is part of the process, and most therapists understand this.
The goal is not to stay with a therapist out of obligation, but to find someone who helps you move forward.
What Actually Makes Therapy Work
Research consistently shows that one of the most important factors in therapy is the quality of the relationship between therapist and client. Techniques and approaches matter, but feeling safe, understood, and supported often matters even more.
If you feel comfortable being yourself and believe your therapist genuinely wants to help, that is a strong foundation.
Looking for a Therapist in Colorado?
Brave Counseling is a group psychotherapy practice providing virtual therapy for adults, couples, and families across Colorado. We focus on helping clients feel comfortable and supported from the very first session and work to match each person with a therapist who fits their needs and preferences.
Depending on therapist availability, we work with Health First Colorado and some Medicaid plans and strive to connect new clients with a therapist as quickly as possible. Our clinicians receive advanced training in evidence-based and trauma-informed treatment modalities, and we believe strongly that high-quality mental health care should be accessible to everyone.
If you’re considering therapy and have questions about how to get started, you can contact our intake team through our website to learn more about current openings.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long should I try therapy before deciding if it’s a good fit?
Many people find it helpful to attend two to three sessions before deciding, unless something feels clearly uncomfortable or unhelpful.
Is it normal to feel nervous with a new therapist?
Yes. Feeling nervous at the beginning of therapy is very common and usually improves as you become more comfortable.
Can I ask my therapist to change their approach?
Yes. Therapists generally welcome feedback and can often adjust the pace, focus, or style of sessions to better meet your needs.