Balance is a Practice, Not a Destination
As holistic therapists, one of the most common things we hear in sessions is: "I just want to feel more balanced."
If you’ve ever found yourself saying something similar…
“I’m all over the place”
“I feel like I’m spinning,” or
“I just can’t seem to get grounded”
…please know this: You are not alone.
In fact, this longing for balance is deeply human. It is one of the most universal desires that brings people into therapy. When someone says they want to feel more balanced, often what they’re really saying is:
“I want things to feel more manageable.”
“I want to feel less overwhelmed.”
“I want to feel less anxious and more grounded in my body.”
“I want life to feel less like a constant sprint.”
Balance, then, becomes a kind of code word for relief from the constant push-pull of modern life.
And that’s completely understandable because we live in a world that normalizes burnout, celebrates overextension, and wires us from a young age to perform, achieve, and produce.
Yet, as common as this longing is, there’s an underlying misunderstanding many of us carry: the belief that balance is something we will eventually achieve.
Many of us think about balance like a final destination on a long road trip, or a box we can check once and for all. We find ourselves saying things like:
“If I could just get more balanced, then I’d finally feel better.”
“If I could just get this one thing under control — this job, this relationship, this schedule — then I wouldn’t be so stressed.”
But here’s the truth we gently and repeatedly offer in the therapy room: Balance is not a destination, it’s a practice.
So, What Actually Gets in the Way of Balance?
The biggest obstacles to balance aren’t usually external. Yes, life is busy. Yes, responsibilities are real. But what tends to sustain the imbalance are deeper internal patterns often rooted in old beliefs and shaped by unresolved relational wounding, trauma, chronic stress, unmet needs and early attachment experiences.
Underneath the chaos of a too-full calendar or the constant sense of urgency is often a nervous system and inner system stuck in survival mode, toggling between the various stress states (fight, flight, freeze, fawn, flop) which looks like constant shifting from overdoing, striving, and pushing to numbness, shutdown, and collapse.
Let’s look a little deeper.
Underlying behavior is emotion, or e→motion…energy in motion, and underlying emotion are our beliefs. So…the behaviors we see on the outside are being supported by beliefs and the energy they generate on the inside.
Because our beliefs can be surprisingly hard to uncover and access, here are some things, manifestations of those beliefs, to look out for that could be getting in the way of you experiencing the balance you so deeply crave:
Mental & Emotional Mindsets - These are the internal narratives and habits of thought that perpetuate imbalance:
Perfectionism – Never feeling like you're doing enough or doing it well enough.
All-Or-Nothing Thinking – Viewing situations in extremes (e.g., "If I’m not thriving, I’m failing").
Chronic Self-Doubt – Constant second-guessing undermines stability and confidence.
Over-Identification with Productivity – Linking your worth to how much you achieve.
Mental Clutter – Too many open loops, ideas, or decisions left hanging.
Emotional Suppression – Avoiding or stuffing feelings down instead of expressing and processing them.
Behavioral Patterns - How you manage your energy, time, and space directly affects balance:
Overcommitting – Saying yes to too much, leaving no room for rest or spontaneity.
Lack of Boundaries – Difficulty saying no or protecting your own needs and time.
Avoidance/Procrastination – Postponing what matters or needs to be addressed creates background stress.
Disconnection from Body Needs – Ignoring or not feeling cues for hunger, fatigue, thirst, movement, etc.
Poor Sleep Hygiene – Inconsistent or inadequate sleep.
Screen/Device Overuse – Constant stimulation blocks mental stillness, inner reflection and time to integrate.
Physical Health Factors - The body is often a loud communicator of imbalance:
Chronic Stress or Burnout – Long-term cortisol elevation disrupts nearly every system.
Nutrient Deficiencies – Low iron, magnesium, B12, etc., can affect mood and energy.
Hormonal Imbalances – Thyroid, adrenal, or sex hormones can disrupt mood and focus.
Dehydration – Surprisingly common and can cause fatigue, brain fog, and irritability.
Lack of Movement – Sedentary lifestyle affects mood regulation and energy flow.
Relational Strains - We are social beings, and our connections (or lack thereof) impact our balance:
Unmet Emotional Needs – Feeling unseen, unheard, or undervalued in close relationships.
Toxic or Draining Dynamics – Relationships that are not reciprocal and take more than they give.
Lack of Authentic Connection – Superficial interactions can leave you lonely even when surrounded by people.
Caretaking or Codependency – Losing yourself in others’ problems or needs.
Spiritual Disconnect - Even if you're not religious, the deeper sense of connection and meaning matters:
Lack of Purpose or Direction – Feeling like you’re drifting without meaning or mission.
Disconnection from Values – Living out of sync with what you deeply care about.
Isolation from Nature or Awe – Rarely experiencing stillness, beauty, or something larger than yourself.
Neglect of Inner World – No time for tuning inward, reflection, ritual, or contemplative practice.
Underlying Beliefs That Drive Imbalance - These are often deeply rooted and run sneakily in the background. Here are some common underlying beliefs (this is not an exhaustive list):
“I’m too much”
“I’m not enough”
“I’m worthless”
“I don’t matter”
“I’m a failure”
“I can’t be trusted”
“I can’t trust anyone”
“I’m bad”
“I’m unlovable”
“I’m stupid”
“I don’t belong”
“I don’t deserve”
“I have to be perfect”
A useful tool to help you uncover your deeply rooted, sneaky beliefs is to first use an “If/then” statement, then add on this statement: “Say that’s true, then what does that say about me as a person, that I…______________” (fill in the blank with what comes to mind about yourself, no searching or digging).
Examples:
“If I slow down, then I’ll get behind” + “Say that’s true, that I am behind, then what does that say about me as a person? If I’m behind…then I am useless.”
“If I open up to them, they’ll use it against me” + “Say that’s true, that they use what I shared against me, then what does that say about me as a person? If they use what I shared against me…then I can’t trust anyone.”
In the examples above the core belief uncovered through the “if/then” statements is listed in bold. As humans we tend to hold beliefs about ourselves, other people, the world around us, and the future. Identifying and eventually healing and releasing these beliefs that are at the root of energetic dysregulation is KEY to feeling more balanced in day-to-day life.
Give it a try and let us know how it goes! And, as you may come to find, it is challenging to get to the root of our imbalance, to the beliefs underlying a system that’s stuck in survival mode. If you find this challenging, you are not alone, and we are here for you. Just email us at info@bravecounseling.com and we will be in touch with ASAP to see how we can support you in feeling more balanced.
Western Resistance to Practices vs. Achievements
It’s important to mention that as Americans, we’ve been raised in a society that rewards performance and output. From school systems to workplace culture to social media, most of us have been wired to believe that our value lies in what we do, how much we do, and how perfectly we do it.
In that system, goals are everything — clear, measurable, finite. So, when someone suggests a practice…something ongoing, without a finish line, it can feel slippery. Frustrating, even. You might find yourself thinking:
"Wait, you mean I can’t achieve balance?"
No, you cannot. Because balance isn’t static. It’s dynamic. It breathes. It responds. It shifts with you. Just like the balancing poses in yoga (we’re looking at you Tree Pose) balance is something you return to again and again as conditions change, as your body changes, as your life changes.
Balance as a Somatic Practice
Understanding this shift, from achievement to practice, is one thing. Getting your body and nervous system on board is another.
Balance in a holistic sense means creating a regulated relationship between activation and rest. Between the sympathetic branch of your autonomic nervous system (the energy of mobilization, doing, engaging) and parasympathetic branch (the energy of immobilization, slowing down, restoring, digesting life).
Many of us are stuck in nervous systems that only know two gears:
Go hard (fight/flight/fawn)
Crash hard (freeze/collapse)
A true practice of balance involves learning to notice these states in the body and cultivating new, more nuanced rhythms:
Can I work and stay connected to my breath, my body?
Can I rest without guilt?
Can I move toward my goals without sacrificing and abandoning myself?
Can I allow rest to be as sacred and productive as action?
How to Begin Rebalancing
Starting the practice of balance is not about fixing everything at once, it’s actually not about fixing at all. It’s first about connecting inwardly and listening. Here are some entry points:
Name the Imbalance – Where do you feel it most? Body, mind, emotions, relationships, purpose?
Slow Down – Even just 5 minutes of stillness can reveal more than rushing.
Feel Your Body – Movement, grounding, or simply checking in helps you return to the present moment, being here now.
Connect with Someone Real – Honest, vulnerable conversation rebalances more than you'd expect.
Question Your Inner Narrative – What are the automatic thoughts that come up for you? Whose voice is telling you to keep going when you're empty?
Return to What Matters – Values, presence, nature, art, faith, breath. What is most important to you in your life? Are these truly your values or someone else's?
Every Moment is a Portal to Practice
Balance isn’t a future you arrive at once everything calms down. Balance is right here, in the moment you take a breath before replying to that text. In the choice to go to bed instead of scrolling endlessly on your phone. In the decision to say “no” — even when it’s uncomfortable. In the willingness to pause and feel your feet on the ground, before moving forward.
Every day offers hundreds of these micro-opportunities.
Not to be perfect. But to return. To re-attune. To notice what you need.
If you notice that it’s difficult or impossible for you to engage with these micro-opportunities to practice balance, you are not alone! It’s like that some deeply rooted beliefs are getting in the way of you slowing down and making different choices. If you’d like support in uncovering, healing, and releasing your limiting beliefs, reach out to us at info@bravecounsleing.com and we will get in touch with you ASAP for a free consultation.
A Gentle Invitation
So if you’re someone longing for more balance, more ease, more groundedness…please know you’re not broken, and you’re not alone.
Instead of asking, “How do I finally get balanced?”
Try asking, “How can I practice balance today, in a small way?” and “What does my nervous system need right now to feel a little less overwhelmed, a little more supported?”
That’s the practice.
Not a checkbox, not a final destination…but a kind of coming home.
Over and over again.
With care and compassion,
The Brave Embodiment Counseling Team, aka holistic therapists who are practicing right alongside you