5 Reasons to Invest in a Great Therapist
I meet with a lot of women seeking therapy. And I myself have seen quite a few therapists and healers in my lifetime. I know what a great therapist looks like and the difference between working with a therapist that skates along with traditional Freudian techniques and their graduate school education. I also know what it means to invest in your own healing process. Here are 5 reasons to work with a Great Therapist instead of wasting time and money on a not-so-great therapist.
1. GREAT THERAPISTS CAN RELATE TO HOW IT FEELS TO BE A CLIENT
Being a great therapist takes even more work than being the client in therapy. On top of doing your own healing to avoid rehashing your own history with clients, you have to be present and guide your clients. The great therapists out there have all done their own work (and continue to do their own work throughout their lives) and know what it is like to sit in your seat. That means they will not judge or criticize. That means their Stuff won't get mixed in and confused with your Stuff. That means they can be there for you 100% and not get distracted by their own Stuff or project onto you. That means they understand humility and pain and more importantly, HEALING. I can't emphasize enough how important it is to work with someone that has done their own work. Don't be afraid to ask if your therapist has been to their own therapy or done their own healing work.
2. GREAT THERAPISTS HELP YOU HEAL FASTER
Great therapists do advanced training, beyond their graduate school education. That means they are educated in more cutting edge methodologies for helping you in the healing process. Thus, they have learned how to help you heal more quickly, more effectively and with more ease. They know about the latest research in the field and understand aspects of healing such as the fact that trauma and attachment wounds affect everyone and the effects of trauma and attachment wounds can look suspiciously like mood disorders and ADHD.
3. GREAT THERAPISTS SEEK HELP TO LEARN MORE AND GROW
Great therapists also get great supervision over the course of their careers, meaning they check themselves and seek help when they need to learn about something new. If a great therapist needs to work out a concern coming up from a client about the nature of their work, for example, a great therapist will consult someone that can help them. If a great therapist is not knowledgable about a particular concern of a client, the therapist will either consult a mentor/supervisor or will refer that client to another great therapist that specializes in that concern.
4. GREAT THERAPISTS HELP YOU HEAL - PERIOD!
Traditionally, therapists have been trained to help clients learn new insights about themselves, to make the unconscious conscious. This awareness is the first step to healing but it is not the last. If left at the stage of awareness, you will end up simply spinning your wheels. The next step is healing. You also need aid in unpacking old patterns and learning new ones. Finally, you will need assistance in integrating new beliefs, learning to vision and thrive! People can get stuck in any of these spaces and may not have ever learned how to vision or thrive. Great therapists help clients heal from attachment wounds and trauma, not just know what patterns they are stuck in because of the trauma and wounds. Additionally, great therapists allow for clients to experiences many of the missing needs they have from their childhood wounds, such as not been seen, heard, to play, etc. because the therapist can show through experientials in the sessions what that need being met (by the therapist or client) looks/feels like. This repair allows the client to then "reparent" themselves and internalize the need being met by themselves.
5. THEREFORE, GREAT THERAPISTS DON'T LET YOU WASTE YOUR MONEY
A great therapist will help you heal much more efficiently. If you feel you are just spinning your wells in therapy or are not getting beyond the insight, don't be afraid to move on. You are paying for healing therefore, should be healing in therapy! It is worth the investment. Most great therapists do not take insurance because of the hassle and restrictions involved with taking insurance. Thus, you may have to pay more per session. But if you think about the years of therapy you could be sending a smaller fee (5 years of a $50 copay = $12,500 and no healing) versus a much shorter time period of ACTUAL HEALING (1 year of a $150 fee = $7,500), there is no comparison. Often you can even get a portion of out of network therapy sessions reimbursed by your insurance company.
Essentially, I hope you will learn from me. I spent 10+ years in not-so-great therapy for a range of fees between $20 copays to $100 sessions and got nowhere = upwards of $20,000. And then one great therapist for 6 months at $250 a session and all the healing. I don't feel like I ever will NEED to return to therapy based on those 6 months of work. Please don't waste your time and money like I did.